Yesterday I got a good rest, and then helped the children finish their homework as quickly as possible. Then we all got dressed in our best for the wedding. When I emerged from my room after changing I was greeted with “super, sir!” from many of the kids, in respect to my clothes. The children all took a lot of time perfecting each other’s hair and making sure the scented talc was completely rubbed in. Then we waited. Right now Xavier is in charge of the neighbor’s autorickshaw, but he doesn’t have a license to drive it in this state. So the family of the bride was going to send a driver for us at 7:30. We waited, and waited. Finally the driver came around 8:45, the whole time the children were waiting they were itching in their nice clothes, and sitting as still as possible, so as not to get dirty.
It took only two autorickshaw trips, and one motor bike trip. For those who don’t know, an autorickshaw is meant to hold 3, maybe 4 comfortably. With children you can probably fit 5. We fit about 17 per trip. Children were stacked up four high on each other’s laps. Illegal, yes. Dangerous, a resounding yes. But in order to get everyone there before 10 it is what had to be done. I rode the motor bike with a neighborhood boy boy, who I didn’t know, and Xavier. We got there around quarter to ten, and things were just getting started. The marriage hall was hot, bloody hot, crowded, and noisy. The air was thick with the smell of jasmine and sweat. All the women were dressed in bright saris and had strings of flower buds looped in their hair. Everyone was staring at me; the bride was a half orphan and very poor, so many of people there were also not well off. Because of that, the last person they expected to see there was a westerner. Kumari had been in charge of the orphan-bride’s education, and as a thanks, all of Kumari’s children, family, and myself were invited.
A couple minutes after we entered, a band of strange instruments started playing and the bride and groom came in. They stood in the doorway and a large, strange looking camera took pictures of them. The flash on the camera didn’t “flash,” instead it stayed lit for several minutes. The bride looked very uncomfortable and shy in the blinding, unnatural light. She sparkled with jewels and gold, and was weighed down by pounds of flowers and layers upon layers of bright, draped silk. Not once did I see her smile. She was only 17, and was not ready to leave her guardian’s house for the house of her mother-in-law. The marriage was arranged, and stories about princesses bound into marriages while secretly there heart belonged to someone else came to mind, though I’m sure this was nothing like that. Later Priya and I went up and talked to the bride, there were tears in her eyes. The photographer came up and wanted to take a picture of us. Priya, the bride, and I arranged ourselves, and instinctively I smiled for the camera. I will be the only happy looking person in the picture (as if I won’t stand out enough already).
When a table cleared we sat down to eat. A banana leaf was placed in front of me, and I sprinkled it with my drinking water before the server could come and do it with water that came from who knows where. Slowly the leaf was filled with piles upon piles of strange sauces, curries, and vegetable mushes. I ate it greedily, by this time it was close to 10:45, and I hadn’t eaten since 2:00. The desserts were both served cool / room temperature, so I didn’t risk eating them and gave them to the children around me. While eating, a huge fight broke out literally right over top of me, between an old woman and a man probably in his middle to late thirties. It had something to do with the servant woman not clearing an old banana leaf. I don’t know. The man was leaning over top of me to get to the woman, fists were involved, and I was terrified and had no clue what was happening, but Priya was laughing so I knew that it couldn’t be that bad. They ended up carrying the man and woman outside, and everyone continued eating as if nothing had happened.
Several men came up to me, shook my hand, and introduced themselves. You both shake and eat with your right hand, so no matter how many times I went and washed my hand, it still had food on it because I kept meeting new people.
We left a little after midnight. The wedding celebration went all night, and in the morning the actual ceremony would occur, which I did not get the chance to see. Driving through Tiru at night is a must-have experience. The busy streets are quiet, only a few people are roaming about or cleaning up their outdoor stands. The air is cool and feels fresh. The heavy smells have cleared the area, leaving only a hint of curry and fried edibles. Cows rule the roads at night; they wander freely, untethered, and unwatched. I wonder how their owners find them in the morning.
Due to the late night, I slept in until 9:30, and quickly got to work on more paperwork and posters that need to be hung before inspection. Kumari has been very stressed, the people renting the bottom level of the new house were supposed to leave today, but they refuse to move until September, because in Hindu tradition, apparently it is only lucky to move in certain months. We don’t know yet if we will be allowed to stay here until then, and if we can’t, there is nowhere to go in the area. Because of that, Kumari and Xavier have their hands full, so I’m trying to take over all the little things that need to be done.
I miss you all,
Peace,
Robby
Waiting to be served
The bride and groom enter the hall
Waiting for the bride and groom to enter the hall (the pictures didn't load in order...)
The sun setting on Tiru while we waited for our driver
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