Tuesday, July 21, 2009

So, my second post in one day.

This afternoon the kids danced again and I took videos. It was quite funny and a lot of fun. When they finished we all went inside, and the kids sat on the floor while I was presented with a large and elaborate paper, bead, string, and incense necklace which is Indian tradition to show their love and thanks. Kumari also presented me with a small Ganesh hanging lamp with little lights on it to remember everyone by. I gave all the children cookies, and after that they all came up to me to say anything that they wanted to say before I left. I was able to keep my composure until this point. A couple kids came up and then it was Ajith Kumar's turn, and he started speaking in Tamil and Kumari translated. Near the end he was crying so hard Kumari could no longer translate. I started crying too; he and I had really developed a close bond, and I could easily take him home in a second. Another thing that really struck me was how little the things they were thanking me for were. They were thanking me for things that I didn't even remember, and it is really sad how such small things that I had overlooked made such an impact on these children. Swetha was too upset to even say anything so I just hugged her for a very long time. She is another one that I will miss more than even I can imagine. Each child, after speaking to me, hugged me and kissed me on the cheek, the sweetest, softest kisses. I am so glad I took this trip, and I am so glad that I have shared a part of my life with each of these kids, and that they have shared a part of their lives with me.

Peace.

My last day

Hello Family and Friends,

Last night nothing really earth shattering occurred. I went and picked up my new glasses with Pown on what will most likely prove to be my final ride on the motorbike. The glasses look really good, but the prescription seems a tiny bit strong because after wearing them for several hours I had a pounding headache. Later in the night Kumari sat with me while I began to pack all of my things. We made the final arrangements for the car to pick me up, and the fact that my time here is almost up really began to sink in. I slept terribly last night.

This morning I woke up absurdly early around five o’clock. I hung out with the kids as they slowly rolled awake too. Today is another festival day, so none of the kids, except Baboolu, had school. Baboolu has been really good about school the past couple days, but today he really regressed. Kumari didn’t want him to know that everyone else was staying home, so while she was getting him ready, whenever anyone walked by the door she would yell at them for not being ready for school. “Yes, miss” they would say while smirking and then hurried away from the door to play. Kumari thought this was hilarious; I’m pretty sure one of her favorite things to do is trick Baboolu. He was flailing, kicking, and screaming while Kumari placed him on the motorbike with Xavier. He kept clawing at her and fell off the bike a couple times in his tantrum. A neighbor woman came over, positioned him on the bike, and off Xavier went. All the kids smiled and waved goodbye to him as they sped down the road. You could hear his wailing even after they had disappeared from sight.

I packed while Kumari was cleaning in the kitchen and Xavier was resting. The children were all playing, and nothing seemed unusual. All of a sudden there was a huge commotion and Kumari, Xavier, and I all ran outside. The children were carrying a screaming, biting, and convulsing Naveen to the house. Slowly we pieced together what happened. Naveen, just a reminder, is the one who steals and whose father is in jail for brutally murdering his mother. Naveen went onto the terrace, sat in the edge, blindfolded himself, and said he was going to jump off. Maha, his sister, told everyone to be quiet, she didn’t want him to get into more trouble and she thought she could handle it herself. She went onto the terrace and pulled him off the ledge. This made Naveen angry, so he beat his sister unconscious and then tried to run away. He had with him an address to who knows where, and money he had stolen. The children ran after him and caught him and then carried him back. It was at this time that they got our attention. Most of the boys that captured Naveen had bite marks on their arms and hands. Maha returned to consciousness pretty quickly. Naveen sat in the corner of the main room shaking while Kumari, Xavier, and I discussed the situation. Kumari and Xavier seem to think he needs to be sent somewhere else that is more disciplined. They want to send him to jail school, which is even worse than it sounds. There the children are beaten for the smallest misconduct and they are never allowed outside. Kumari and Xavier asked Maha what she thought and she started to cry while saying that she thinks he needs more discipline too. I felt bad for the poor girl who basically was just asked to damn her brother. I feel even worse because Naveen, despite having some bad habits, is really fun, playful, and overall a good kid. Kumari is afraid that he will turn out like his father, but I think that over disciplining Naveen will have a negative effect; it will harden him even more. The uncle is coming tonight to discuss what should be done. I plan on fighting for Naveen; I agree that maybe he should be somewhere that doesn’t give as much freedom to the kids, but jail school should be a last option.

I spent the rest of the afternoon with Kumari in the kitchen learning to make egg curry, one of my favorites. Now I am going to rest, because I am leaving tonight at eleven for Chennai, and then my flight leaves at four fifteen, so I will certainly get no rest later.

All my love,
I will be home soon,
Robby

Monday, July 20, 2009

Patti and the Park

Hello,

Yesterday evening had its emotional ups and downs. The down part happened after lunch. I was doing some work organizing the files in my room, and got a little bored so I went to see what everyone else was doing. There was a very well dressed woman and a young man in Kumari’s room along with the rest of the family. Kumari introduced the woman as her sister and the man as her nephew, and I thought for sure I had misheard. Kumari’s sister married a wealthy man three times her age when she was sixteen. They moved to Dubai where they had two children, a boy and a girl. The husband died soon after, of old age. Kumari’s sister has been in Dubai living a very wealthy lifestyle ever since, and her son now goes to school in Australia. Her sister hasn’t been in touch in years and they haven’t seen her in at least a decade. When Patti (patti = grandma in Tamil) got sick last year and they thought she was going to die, the sister couldn’t be bothered with it. Kumari, who has nothing, had to take care of all the medical expenses while her sister lived the life in Dubai, one of the wealthiest cities in the world. This is all that I had been told by Kumari about her sister, so I was very surprised to see her standing there in the room. I awkwardly shook hands with her and her son, and feeling the tenseness in the room, I wisely decided to go and check on the kids.

After they had left I returned to the room. Patti was lying on her side crying, and Kumari was quietly eating. The sister had flown all the way from Dubai not to see her family, but to visit the temple. Seeing them had been an afterthought, which Kumari and Patti could tell from the sweets and the sari she had bought them as gifts from the store literally right outside the house; the gifts were still in the store’s plastic bags with the receipts. Patti was the most upset, she had given up so much to educate her daughters, whom she raised alone. Patti kept looking at the 1,000 Rs ($20) that her daughter had given her, and you could tell that this “gift” was killing her inside. New tears kept falling from her sunken eyes, and I wanted to put my arm around her and comfort her, but the social rules are so different here I didn’t know what was acceptable so I just sat with them quietly. Kumari and Xavier kept trying to reassure Patti saying that they were there and that they would care for her, she didn’t need anyone else. An hour later Patti was still lamenting; she whispered miserably “she bought the sari from right there” while pointing down the street. I can’t even begin to imagine her pain.

Kumari was both angry and humiliated by the visit. Angry because everyone, including Patti, was happy without her; she was a distant memory. Coming back made things worse; it may have made her feel better about abandoning the family, but it made her family feel terrible. Kumari was humiliated because of how her sister looked at her. Her sister gave no warning about the visit. Kumari was in the kitchen cooking; her old house dress had a fine mist of oil on it, her arms had batter smeared on them from making idilies, and her hair was caked in a mud of henna to dye any stray gray wisps. Her sister was dressed finely in real silk, a jeweled bindhi on her forehead, and her skin was fair from never being touched by the sun. In her sister’s presence the reality of how poor Kumari is was really drilled in. Kumari had offered her sister and her nephew lunch, and she could see a flash of disgust on her sister’s face before she “graciously” declined. The house, though cleaned everyday, was looking especially messy since it was the final day of a three day weekend for the children. The laundry had piled up in the corner of the room since everyone has been too busy with the kids to do it. When her sister left, Kumari cleaned the room, did the laundry, bathed, and put on her most beautiful sari in what seemed like an attempt to salvage what was left of her pride.

A little bit later Kumari tricked Baboolu into going to the new house with Priya so we could take the rest of the kids to the park. Kumari doesn’t let Baboolu go out with the other kids because he is such a nuisance and makes it difficult for everyone else to have fun. He knew, though, that something was up because the family was speaking in Hindi to plan the park trip, a language they only speak when they don’t want him to understand. When we finally got him away, I revealed to the kids that we were going to the park and they went crazy; they haven’t been on a big outing like this since December. They all got dressed in their nicest clothes for the trip. The three autorickshaws came to pick is up, and we had to fit the kids into the little space like it was a puzzle. On the way to the park I ended up having three kids on my lap. The ride wasn’t too long, and I realized that I am really figuring my way about the town. When I first got here all the roads looked the same, and, with the auto drivers swerving down the road like a child who just got the training wheels taken off their bike, it was hard even to tell what direction we were going in. But, alas, a month later (oh my goodness I’ve been in India for a month…) I have figured out the roads.

We got to the park and I was could not believe how clean and beautiful it was. It had a wonderful view of the mountain that wasn’t obscured by any man made objects. The plants were bright, colorful, and well kept. The playground itself stretched throughout the park, and the different pieces were hidden into little alcoves in the shrubbery, bamboo, and cacti. Nothing was made of plastic; it was all wood, polished cement, and metal. Parts of it even seemed to melt into the natural setting. The play equipment was also a lot of fun. The slides were steeper than I have ever seen before, and the things to climb reached high into the sky. At first I wondered why we don’t have playgrounds like this in the US but then realized that though this was probably the best playground I have ever seen, it was also the most dangerous. In the US the owner would have been sued the moment the gates opened. One thing to climb on was a metal shell that extended two and a half stories overhead. You could climb it on nets, ropes, or steel rings. Hanging from the center was a giant mass of tires, on which probably at least fifteen kids were hanging. There were some were staying in nooks inside the mass, some were standing on top of it, others were hanging on to the sides, and some dangled from the bottom. This giant pendulum of childrem swung from side to side while men ran and pushed it so high that it went straight over their heads. This was probably one of the most dangerous toys in the park; children would fly off it and land head first into the rocky sand, and would be whisked away screaming by their mothers. Dhanalakshmi fell off and got a rock stuck in her forehead. Kumari popped the tiny stone out like a strange pimple, and blood drained from the little hole. We decided to move to a different, safer, part of the playground.

The next place we visited was a maze made out of a very prickly plant (I told you this place was awesome!). The kids had a blast running around in it while Kumari and I sat on the sides and watched. Some kids caught butterflies which were everywhere. They fluttered around our faces and the dead ones crunched beneath our feet. The kids took the powder off the dead butterfly’s wings and placed it on their foreheads for financial luck. At six the park closed and we crammed back into the autos to return home. The rest of the night was quiet. Naveen and Maha came back, and Naveen admitted to stealing the money and also that he had taken and hid Priya’s flash drive. Hopefully he won’t have anymore problems like this.

This morning I woke up early, with only two days left I don’t want to miss a thing. I had breakfast and Kumari and I went to Xerox and print out some things. I finished organizing the office, and I have a couple more things to do. We set up the car to pick me up tomorrow night at 11, my flight leaves at 4 in the morning and it is a three hour drive to Chennai. Hopefully I will get all my work done today so tomorrow can be spent relaxing with Kumari, Xavier, and Patti.

Peace,
Robby
Me and Patti. I was pleased that she was actually the one who wanted this picture taken.


Everyone at the park. I think some of the kids weren't quite ready for this picture...


One of my favorite pictures ever, this is Mukesh with one of the butterflies he caught. They would make wishes on them and then let them go.


Brothers, Prasad and Prithivi.


Kumari leads the way into the park.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

The Calm Before the Storm

Hello,

Last night James randomly left, so Kumari had to do all of the cooking. I spent most of the evening in the kitchen with her, Durga, and Sasheela. She made a typical vegetable curry which consisted mostly of okra, and then she started to make something out of the leaves of the drumstick tree. We have a drumstick tree out front (they really are everywhere) but it hasn’t had any drumsticks since they had to cut it back for the power lines. I had tried the leaves before in a sambar, and they were pretty good though a little bitter. Kumari, even though I had tried some before, seemed convinced that they wouldn’t suit me and that it would give me “loose motion” and only let me have a little bit. She cooked it in oil with some spices, several chilies, and fresh coconut. It was amazing and I kept insisting she give me a normal serving. It was good at the time, but, like usual, Kumari was right and this morning was a little miserable.

After dinner we tried to get some work done on the computer since the power was off all day, but the internet was failing miserably, so we finally decided to make it an early night. When I woke up, James once again was not here, and I found Kumari angrily cooking. She is starting to get incredibly fed up with him just leaving whenever he feels like it. Hopefully they won’t need him for too much longer; he was only hired when Xavier got sick and Kumari had to take over what Xavier typically did. After breakfast I ran a couple errands on foot, and took Venky and Prithivi along with me. Prithivi is the biggest talker ever, and for the first twenty minutes or so I tried very hard to understand everything he was saying, but when he didn’t even stop to take a breath I slowly gave up. Poor Venky couldn’t get a word in even if he wanted to.

When we got back someone was holding a meeting in our main room and all the kids were playing quietly outside. It is some kind of get rich quick scheme that Kumari’s distant relative is involved in, and Kumari let them meet here. Thankfully Kumari and Xavier aren’t involved. The meeting set up camp right in front of my door, so I’ve been trying hard not to come in and out because they immediately stop what they are doing to stare; so for now I am kind of trapped in here. Hopefully it won’t last much longer.

The rest of this morning should be pretty quiet, but this evening after lunch we are taking the children to some park that is pretty far away. We have to take an auto there, which costs money, so the kids never go unless they have a visitor. I’m saving up my energy for what is sure to be an exhausting outing. I’m glad, though, that this is how I will be spending my last full day with the kids, since Monday and Tuesday they have school.

Peace,
Robby

Saturday, July 18, 2009

New Glasses and Such...

Hello Family and Friends,

Yesterday afternoon was uneventful, just hanging out with the kids since everyone was home. Later I took a much needed bath. I don’t know why, maybe because they are so dry otherwise, but even washing my hands quickly makes the tips of my fingers turn white and prune up. After bathing, the latch in the bathroom was stuck and after pushing on it hard it finally slid open. My soft, pruned thumb was sliced open by the latch and immediately started bleeding. I tried to hide it while I left the bathroom, but Prince saw the blood coming down my hand and started freaking out getting Kumari’s attention, who also freaked out. It bled hard for several minutes, and when it finally slowed down it revealed the tiniest, shallowest cut I have ever seen in my life. I embarrassedly slapped a band-aide on the bloodiest paper cut ever.

A little before seven, Kumari, Priya, and I left for the optometrist. I was just tagging along because any trip outside always offers a new experience. When we got there Priya started looking at frames, and I asked how much they were. She was looking at 300 Rs. frames, the equivalent of a little more than six dollars. At that point I knew I would not be able to help myself, and started looking at the “specs” myself. I found two that I liked, one grandpa type pair that were big and tanish plastic, and another pair that were silver with no frame on the bottom half. This pair will be my professional pair, and I figured they would make my mom happy since a year later she is still getting used to my Ray-Bans. I had to get my eyes examined, which I was able to get done for free since the place was owned by a family friend. The exam was very archaic and different from other eye checkups I have had. First the doctor was able to look at my glasses and tell what my current prescription is. I was pretty impressed, I know my prescription from my contacts, and he was dead on. He then strapped strange things to my face and slowly discovered that my left eye had gotten .5 worse, while my right had stayed the same. The exam went fine and I was able to understand him pretty well, except for one part. He had just been shining a light in my eye for what seemed like forever, and then he strapped a large interchangeable pair of glasses on me with my new prescription in them. He wanted to make sure it was okay and asked me to read the smallest line on the screen. I could see fine, but the image of the light was burned into my eye and blocked anything that I was looking straight at. I tried explaining and I could tell I was making him a little angry. Just read the bottom line, he kept repeating, his voice getting louder and louder while I continued to try and explain. The light, I pleaded. Yes, he said, I am finished with the light, now you read the bottom line. I looked at Priya for help, but she just shrugged her shoulders. I sighed and told the doctor that I could see the bottom line very clearly, and in the end, that was that. For the lenses and the frames and the eye exam, the total was $32, for two pairs of glasses!

We returned home and the children had already eaten dinner. Sangeetha, the one who sometimes has episodes, had urinated during dinner while just sitting there and Kumari asked her if she had been taking her medicine. Sangeetha finally admitted that she had lost the key to her box. Kumari was very angry, she had put several people in charge of making sure Sangeetha was taking her medicine all of whom had been assuring her that she was, and when she finally broke the box open she could tell that Sangeetha hadn’t taken it in a while. I ate dinner with the family and then went to bed fairly late.

This morning I woke up sweating like you wouldn’t believe; the power had gone out and the fan was off. It is the third Saturday of the month, so the power was turned off all day, until just now (seven o’clock). I ate breakfast and then got to work taking the portraits of each child. I have been making a conscious effort today to take more pictures, I really haven’t taken that many so far. Whenever I pull out my camera it distracts the kids, and I always feel strange taking pictures out in public, because it causes me to draw even more attention to myself.

Kumari went to the market and when she returned we spent an hour or so sorting the large bags of random vegetables. When we finished it was time for lunch, and after lunch the children all rested. When they got up we played the coin-number game, which has always been my favorite. The game, though, has slowly involved more and more cheating by all parties. At first certain rules were secretly overlooked, and then openly overlooked. Today it was at its worse, people were trading coins openly (your coins are supposed to stay your coins) and the littler ones would look over your shoulder to see what you needed, and then search through the pile and secretly trade you for the coin that you needed. In the end, though, with everyone cheating, it was actually just as fun.

I sat with Kumari, who was cooking, until the power came on, and then I came to type this up. That has been my day.

Peace,
Robby
Me, Subala, and Gokila. Gokila is gorgeous, in case you couldn't tell.



Sorting through just one bag of vegetables. It is crazy to think how much food is needed for thirty children, plus the payment boys, plus the family, plus James and Sasheela.

Ranjeeth, Santhosh (one of two...), me, Prasad, and Kasthuri, all out on the back walkway / porch thingy.


Friday, July 17, 2009

Lots of Errands

Hello,

Yesterday afternoon we ran some errands; it turned out the optometrist didn’t come in until 7, so we weren’t able to get Priya’s glasses. We got other things that we did need, though, so the auto ride wasn’t a waste. On the main street there was a white family looking lost and confused as ever. It looked as if the sky opened up and they were just dropped in the middle of India. I knew enough Tamil to tell that everyone around them was making fun of them. They spoke only German, which no one here knows; people here only speak Tamil and maybe a little English or Hindi. They were all inappropriately dressed; the woman had their shoulders showing and everyone was wearing shorts, two things you would never see here otherwise. I, honestly, was a little embarrassed to be associated with the group. Thankfully, though, I don’t think I stand out as much as I used to. My shirts all look grungy from being dried in the dusty wind, I’ve gotten tanner, my glasses, surprisingly, are very similar to the ones worn by most adults, and my lungis have gotten soft from wear. Everyone here brushes coconut oil into their hair, and with the amount I sweat and the infrequency of my bathing, my hair also has taken on a slightly greased look. Another thing that has helped me fit in a little better is that I am skinny. Two of the women in this family were larger. They certainly weren’t even close to the largest people I have seen, and in the west their weight would have gone without a second thought. Here, though, that is all people could notice. Even Kumari started laughing and commenting on how big they were. When she calmed down she turned to me and very seriously asked me if it was safe for them to be on a plane. “Did they have to be separated onto different planes to distribute the weight?” she asked me very sincerely. Then it was my turn to laugh.

Once we finished our errands we went straight to pick Baboolu up from school. We had to wait a while outside the gate, where, amongst all the parents, it certainly felt like I didn’t belong. The school was very large and clean and nice, and like everything else here, it was very open to the outdoors. There were fluorescent bulbs strapped to the trees. Fluorescent lights were one of the first thing I noticed here when I got off the plane. They are everywhere along the roads and in houses, and they are always bare. They stick out of the ground in front of every hut like glowing poles. I don’t know how it works, but it looks as if every hut is allotted one fluorescent bulb to be placed out front. The bulbs hang from trees, they are strapped on to random objects; they are everywhere. Outside my window there is one precariously hanging from the top of the electric pole. The one on the front porch hangs by two wires wrapped directly onto the glass.

After fifteen or so minutes of waiting we finally were let into the school. When Baboolu saw me he got really excited and ran to hold my hand. I met his teacher who seemed very nice. We walked back to the auto and I got several strange looks inquiring who this strange white man with a little Indian boy in hand was.

We got home and rested. The rest of the children got home fairly soon after. Naveen did not come home, and apparently Maha ended up leaving the school as well to look for him on her own. We called their grandfather, who seemed fairly convinced that they would either end up back at WIDE or at his house. This morning they still haven’t returned. The night was otherwise very quiet.

This morning I got up and was not really feeling all that well. Kumari, not knowing how I was feeling, made a special different kind of chutney to have with dosais. The chutney was fantastic, and I was upset that I wasn’t able to eat more of it. After an hour or so I felt a lot better, which was good because today is a festival day so the kids don’t have school. I took Ajith Kumar and Mukesh with me to the bank, which was a much farther walk than I thought it would be. The whole way I was harassed by auto drivers who I guess just assumed that as a westerner I am not capable of walking anywhere. They also all seemed to assume that I needed to go to the ashram. “Ramanashram, Ramanashram?” they would yell at me. Some drivers would even cut me off by stopping their autorickshaws right in my path in an effort to force a ride on me. When we got back I almost immediately left with Kumari and Durga to get office supplies. We walked to a shop that was fairly close, but everything was expensive, so we took an even farther walk to a main road to get an auto. We picked up what we needed and came home for lunch. Now I have the files and things needed to create and organize an office for Kumari, so I am going to get to work.

Peace,
Robby

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Naveen Trouble, and the Doctor

Hello Everyone,

Yesterday evening was pretty normal. We rested after picking Baboolu up from school. He is feeling a lot better about school now. Xavier had a talk with him about how since he is sick Baboolu is going to have to take care of him, and he can only do this if he is educated. Plus, the teacher praised him a lot yesterday, so he was feeling better about himself. We woke as the children started coming back from school. Naveen had a new toy with him, along with forty rupees. Priya had fifty rupees that just went missing, and Naveen’s story about how he got the money continued to change. He has a history of stealing; when he lived with his grandfather he would always steal. Kumari was very upset that he was taking from them when they already give everything the have to the kids. To make matters worse, Xavier was feeling better today and visited the schools; he used to talk to the teachers almost every day. It turns out that since Xavier has been too sick to do his regular checkups, Naveen has not attended school. Xavier came home to let us know that Naveen was not at school and hasn’t gone for the past couple weeks, right when Naveen’s grandfather called. Naveen went to his grandfather’s house and said that the school was asking for fifty rupees, the grandfather gave it to him and Naveen left. The school is not asking for any money. Kumari doesn’t know what to do, and I guess I will have to wait and see how this afternoon goes when Naveen comes home.

The other news that we got last night had to do with the wealthier orphanage in Tiru; high school aged children from that orphanage were picking up Chella by his neck and choking him. To add insult to injury, the teenagers then mocked all of our kids for coming from such a poor orphanage. Though this situation is maddening no matter what, the fact that they were beating up Chella, the youngest child at WIDE, of all the children really made me angry. In addition, one of their teachers is the director of this other orphanage and he called up Sathiya to question her about the white man that had come to visit WIDE. He wanted to know what I was doing and where I was staying. When he heard that I was staying with the children he laughed and poked fun at WIDE and Kumari for apparently not knowing how to treat a foreigner. I would just like to say that I have been treated better than I could have ever imagined, and that I am truly enjoying staying in the same home as the kids; I like being where all the action is. Kumari and everyone else have gone out of their way to make me feel comfortable, and I am forever grateful.

After listening to the children’s stories we all bathed and got ready to go to the hospital. Xavier felt well enough to shave and comb his hair, and this is the first time I have really seen him cleaned up. At seven we got an auto and made our way to the hospital. We were appointment number eight, and it turned out we had missed our spot, so we had to wait several hours. It wasn’t too bad, though, because I enjoy people watching. The security guard at the hospital was rolling cotton onto sticks to make swabs, and several times I watched him sneeze or cough right into the cotton. People here don’t cover their mouths when they cough; instead they bang the top of their heads. The next time I have a cold I want to try this to see what, if any, effect banging your head has while coughing. There was a very sick woman who couldn’t even sit upright there with her sister; a very young fair skinned bride with her rough husband; a man that had something sticking out of his knee and blood flowing from his forehead; and an old woman who couldn’t take her eyes off of me and was there even longer than us. Everyone was very crammed together and all I could envision were all the strange and dangerous disease inducing microbes floating through the air towards me.

When we finally were seen, the doctor did the typical checkup and asked the typical questions, and then wrote out the prescription for another ten days. When he finished Kumari told him that I had some questions, which led to a little bit of awkwardness. At first I was a little nervous, but I soon got into the flow of the questions that I wanted answered. Over time I realized that I was actually making him nervous; he is not used to being questioned about any of his decisions. He started to warm up to me a little and then we discussed the final cost for the one year treatment. He was going over what different things cost, and he said that his fee is 75 Rs. per visit, but sometimes he waives the fee, depending on his mood. He thought his joke about charging based on his mood was hilarious and he burst out laughing, and his laughter was really contagious. When we finally left we weren’t charged anything, other than for the medications, so I’m guessing he was in a good mood.

We got home around 11 and I finally ate dinner, and quickly went to sleep. This morning I woke up very earlier, and was with the children for a couple hours before they had to leave for school. I then ate breakfast and got some work done, and am now about to go with Priya to get new glasses. Hers broke a month ago, and just now they have gathered enough money to get a new pair. School has been difficult for her since she hasn’t been able to see the board.

I hope all is well at home; I will be back in less than a week!

Peace,
Robby

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Water Walk and Marc Anthony

Hello Family and Friends,

There is nothing really new to report. Xavier was feeling better yesterday and now it is taking all of Kumari’s and my power to convince that he still needs to rest. Still, though, it is nice that he is able to move around and that the medicine isn’t making him nauseous anymore.

The children came home and did their homework. I got to meet Subala’s and Swetha’s mother. She is very young and pretty, and has a one and a half year old son. When she was four months pregnant with her son her husband, the children’s father, disappeared. She wasn’t able to take care of Swetha, Subala, and now a son, all by herself. She was able to get a death certificate for her husband, even though there is a chance he just ran off, and put Subala and Swetha here at WIDE. She also tried to give Kumari her son, but Kumari did not and does not have the means to take care of such a young child. She offered the mother a place to work here so she could make money, be fed, and stay with her daughters, but the woman didn’t want to leave her hut, which if left vacant for too long would be taken by the government. Each child has such a deep and personal background story; each history is different, but heartbreaking nonetheless.

After everyone was finished their homework I was flooded by children that wanted to sing songs for me. There is a singing contest at one of the schools, and many of the children have entered and now want to practice. Everyone was taking turns singing short tidbits, but when it was Subala’s turn she started sing the longest song I have ever sat through. Several minutes into it all the other children were getting restless, and even I was wondering when it would be over. Finally I said enough, and told her that it was the longest song I have ever heard in my life, which all the children thought was hilarious. For the rest of the night she would come up to me and start singing it all over again, and I would jokingly run away from her.

I realized this week that the way I’ve been interacting with the children the past couple days is much different than I have been in the past. Until now all of the kids have sort off walked on eggshells around me, timidly approaching me to play games, or shyly asking me to go over their homework. This week any reservations they had about me have disappeared. They are pulling on me, demanding my attention. They purposefully poke me just so I will chase them and catch them. Subala is the most aggressive, especially for being so tiny. She will purposefully copy my every move until I grab her and tickle her. She will climb under my chair and pull on my legs or bang the bottom of my seat in an effort to get some reaction out of me. Basically they are treating me like another kid, which I love.

This morning I was low on water so I decided to walk and get some on my own. The little place that I get my water isn’t that far away, and it seems silly to make someone else come and ride the motorbike with me. It was a nice quiet walk through different neighborhood streets. There is a lot of construction going on in several places on the way. It is so different, everything is done by hand. Women sift sand and then carry large bowls of it precariously balanced on their heads. The bowls of sand, along with buckets of water and stacks of bricks, also being carried on top of their heads, slowly make their way up the rickety rope and wood scaffolding. It is an intriguing process and very methodical. One time I was explaining to Kumari how my house is made mostly of wood, and then covered with aluminum siding and sand and tar shingles. She found the whole idea mind boggling, and after pondering it for several seconds she declared that such houses would not do in India, and that was that.

One funny side note, when I got my water I was approached by to young, who seemed pretty convinced that I was Marc Anthony. They were pretty disappointed to find out that, alas, I am only Robby Pagels. I thought it was pretty funny that I, a nineteen year old white boy, was mistaken for a famous forty year old Latin American man.

After that I did some paperwork with Kumari. With only a week left, there is still a lot that I want to get done here, including (but not limited to): creating and organizing a library, creating an office in the new house, finishing the paperwork needed for inspection, finish typing final drafts of the children’s bios, taking pictures of every child individually to go along with their information, and making sure that everything is worked out with Xavier’s health and the doctor before I leave, because their doctor does a poor job of explaining things in ways that non-medical people can understand. I think that may be all I have planned so far, but I’m sure more jobs will pop up.

Peace,
Robby

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Baboolu goes to school, and we go shopping

Hello All,

Yesterday evening I didn’t get much rest, I wanted to be awake when Kumari and Xavier returned from the doctor’s. Five hours later they returned. The wait in the doctor’s office is terrible, and you can’t make appointments in advance; instead you have to make the appointment in person on that same day. Kumari thought it was very strange when I told her that I already had a doctor’s appointment set up for a couple weeks after I get home, and that the appointment was made before I even left for India. While waiting there was no place for Xavier to lie down and he ended up vomiting several times. The doctor said that his feelings were all side effects of the medicine, and that it was something he would have to deal with until his body got used to the drugs. He did, however, change the times that Xavier is supposed to take the meds. Before he took everything at once in the morning, but now it is split into the morning and the night. The doctor also suggested drinking a lot of fluids, specifically juices and buttermilk. Today Xavier is feeling better, and tomorrow he will have been taking the medication for five days, so we will go back to the doctor again.

It was a relatively relaxing evening, the kids all had a lot of work so there was little for me to do. Prithivi actually came back after school; this is the first time he has gone to school without running away. A couple days ago I talked to Kumari about making Prithivi feel like he is here for us, not that we are here for him. We worked out jobs to give him so that he will feel like he has a purpose and is needed here. Kumari also had a talk with him about how he is the oldest so he is in charge of all the other children. He seems to like this position of power and has been to be a little more upbeat.

This morning I woke up, for the second time in a row, to Baboolu screaming. His grandmother was holding him and he was shaking all over and completely freaking out. Tomorrow, tomorrow, he kept pleading. I told Kumari that if she let him stay home then I would carry him to school myself; everyday he stays here it is only going to be worse. I can’t believe that Kumari, who is so strict about studying with all of the other children, keeps letting her own son skip school. He doesn’t like school because he feels behind everyone else, but if he keeps staying home than he is going to be even more behind. Xavier was finally able to calm Prince down by bribing him, but I don’t think that was the best solution because now he will expect something every day he goes to school. Hopefully he will start feeling better about school soon.

When everyone left for school I ate and took a much needed bath. Kumari and I then took a short walk to pick up curd for Xavier, since the curd she made the other day still hasn’t finished condensing, and some eggs. It was a tiny shop and Kumari admitted that in the seven years she has lived in this house she has never been to this shop because it is so close that she can just send the children to pick things up when needed. On the way back we got completely sand blasted. The wind here keeps on picking up, and it has gotten terrible. Everything is covered in dust (my book, by the end of the day, usually has a substantial layer on it) and the wind whips the dust, dirt, and sand roughly against any bare skin. Walking down the street you have to keep your head bowed to protect your eyes, and you have to breathe through a handkerchief.

After running that mini errand we went into town. Once again I got to see Kumari’s fine haggling skills at work. The shopkeepers always point at me and say that we could easily pay the full price. She always respond with something along the lines of “who, him? He’s a student; he has no money at all!!! Why, he’s poorer than you are!” or “We are buying two things, so you can take at least thirty percent off the marked price. Otherwise we will only buy one thing… or maybe nothing at all.” She gets excited about every rupee she is able to mark down. If, in the end, the price ever comes out as a strange number she always rounds down to the nearest 10 or 50 rupees, even if the price has already been marked down a lot, and the shopkeepers just grumble and agree.

On the way back she got into a fight with the auto driver (again!). She always works out the price of a ride before we get in the auto, but still, when it comes time to pay, they try and charge more. I paid the driver the amount he had told us in the beginning, and while he was yelling for the extra ten rupees he was trying to charge us (aka, 20 cents) Kumari grabbed my hand and pulled me away. She looked very smug and never looked back while the man continued to yell and demand for us to come back.

We had lunch; Kumari made dal, pepper water, and rice. I’m not a big fan of pepper water, it is basically like tea made of peppercorns with some oil and a few other spices and herbs thrown in; there is no real substance to it. The dal was fantastic, though.

That is all for now,

Peace,
Robby

Monday, July 13, 2009

Moving and Stuff

Hello Everyone,

Yesterday was the most tiring day I have had here yet. With waking up early and then the mountain climb and then moving, the activity never stopped. The movers helped with all the big things, but we carried everything else. We made dozens of trips by foot carrying large bundles of things wrapped and tied up in sheets. Going through all of their things you could tell that they used to have money. Kumari had piles and piles of high quality and finely made saris, but each was faded and obviously worn. Once we got everything to the new house that needed to be there we started unpacking. By this time it was pretty late, and I wasn’t that much help unpacking because Kumari needed to know exactly where everything was going. She ended up doing it mostly herself while Xavier looked on grimly, unable to help.

That night everyone migrated back to the old house and we ate dinner. It was a quiet night, and being the last day of the weekend I was a little sad that I wasn’t able to spend more of it with the kids. We all went to bed early; no one had rested at all that day. Kumari and Xavier, however, didn’t get any sleep. The medicine he is on has nausea as one of its side effects and the doctor prescribed another drug to counteract this nausea. Despite this second drug, Xavier could not sleep at all. He felt like he had diarrhea, needed to throw up, and that his bladder was about to explode with urine. Not once did he vomit, have a bowel movement, or urinate despite these feelings. When I woke up this morning, a tired looking Kumari was chasing a wet, naked, and screaming Prince around the house. After the weekend he refused to return to school. Xavier is the only one Prince will really listen to, but Xavier was unable to get the energy to be stern with Baboolu, and thus he stayed home. Xavier finally felt a little better and fell asleep around 9:30.

With everything settled down, Kumari and I sat and talked, something we haven’t really done in a few days. We talked a lot about Priya. Yesterday Priya and Vamil, the friend that went climbing with us, came to the house alone to eat. Priya’s grandmother was here too and got very angry with Priya, and Priya ended up making her cry. Kumari explained to me that Priya was a very free girl in comparison to most in India, and especially in a town like Tiru. Kumari asked if I had seen the girl next door. I admitted that I had not, and she explained that girls weren’t supposed to be out and about like Priya; they aren’t supposed to be seen. If a girl’s girlfriend come to visit, then the girl leaves the house and they talk on the porch for two or maybe three minutes, and then the girl must return inside. Her friends never enter the house, and she is never supposed to be visited by men. Priya has never been visited by a girl; the four or five friends of hers that I have met have all been boys. They always come inside, and they are always punching each other and having friendly fights. It is all innocent. Kumari went to a western school where it was okay to be friends with the opposite sex, and Priya spent her young childhood in Mumbai, a big city where the cultural rules are a little more relaxed. Kumari was always okay with Priya having friends that were boys, but now people in the town are talking about it and the family is worried that they won’t be able to find a good husband for her because no family will want their son to be associated with her. It is so different from America where guys and girls are free to mingle and be friendly. Priya, though, thinks the Indian rules are outdated and refuses to bide by them. In addition, Vamil, one of her closest friends, come from the lowest class. In her grandmother’s eyes, this added insult to injury, which is why they fought. Priya hopes some day to study in a university in Europe, where she will be able to do what she wants.

When Xavier woke up an hour later he had a fever and threw up. Kumari decided to take him back to the doctor to see what can be done, and I am left here with Prince and Durga, who also didn’t go to school. Hopefully I will hear from Kumari soon.

Peace,
Robby

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Mountain Climb

Hello Everyone,

We spent most of yesterday, surprise, surprise, waiting in vain for people to come help us move. It never happened, and we had our afternoon rest very late because no one wanted to sleep in case someone showed up. No one slept for long because when we finally did lie down the power went out and the heat was unbearable. I sat in Kumari’s room and we discussed the problems ahead, specifically how the next month and a half will work with the family living separately from the children. I think I have already explained this, but we only have the top floor of the new house because the bottom floor has refused to move. In order to keep the house we have to pay for the top floor until we get the bottom floor. The children, though, really need more room, so Kumari wanted to move out of this house to open up the other two rooms for the kids. The plan before was that Xavier would spend the night with the children here, but now he is too sick to travel back and forth between the old and new houses. Kumari, though, needs to get Prince ready for school, and needs to cook him a lunch in the morning because his school is the only one that doesn’t provide lunch. There are so many things to do, and Xavier is very limited in the amount he can help.

I took a bath, and afterwards when I went outside I found all the children sitting quietly and listening to Kumari. She was going through the rules with them, and telling what was good and bad about the week. Every week she does this, and for the rest of the day and half of the next day they will be very well behaved and then go back to their usual ways. After she finished, each child stood up and gave their complaints. The complaints were all very funny and usually was them tattling on each other. Kumari listened to each one very seriously, though a lot of the time she had to look away and laugh about how serious they were being about such petty problems. The children and I ate dinner, and then Kumari needed to tend to Xavier, so I went outside with the kids by myself. They started to talk about different Indian movies, and to my surprise and pleasure they turned the raised part of the front porch into a stage. The boys preformed first. I could not believe the way these kids had picked up song and dance routines from watching a movie. It was incredible. Plus, of course, it was hilarious watching a group of young boys sing and dance and act all macho, and then yell at each other when they messed up the moves. After the boys, a group of girls sang and danced, led by Maha. The moves were much more complicated, and Maha was like a pro; I could not take my eyes off her. Her dancing was perfect, from the point of her toes, to her twisting fingers, to her bouncing hips, and even her ever changing facial expressions. Then they did a group routine which was loud and fun. I’m hoping to get them to do it again so I can record it, it really was amazing.

Near the end of all this hustle and bustle Mukesh pointed out Sangeetha to me. She was sitting with her fingers curled strangely. She was wobbling her head and banging her fists spastically on the ground. I ran and got Kumari. Kumari had told me about this; Sangeetha has something wrong in her brain and she will go into fits pulling her ears and rapping her knuckles against her teeth or other things like that. Then she will go completely limp and be passed out for over an hour. When she wakes up she doesn’t remember a thing. She is being treated for it and since being on the treatment she hasn’t had any episodes, until now. She didn’t end up passing out, but she was really out of it for the rest of the night. Kumari made her lie in a special position, and she stayed that way twitching for the rest of the night.

This morning I woke up bright and early at five, ready to climb the mountain. Normally I wake up around seven, but I may have to change my sleeping schedule; the early morning here is beautiful and dare I say even a little chilly. One of Priya’s friends came, and he, Priya, Pown, Kartic, and I took two motor bikes to the ashram. The only main path up the mountain starts in the ashram, and since you have to leave your shoes at the door, the climb was made barefoot. It wasn’t too bad to start; the path was clean and made of large stones cut out of the mountain, so it didn’t hurt your feet if you chose your steps carefully. I also think my feet are finally starting to toughen up from always being barefoot. The path was pretty steep, probably as steep as climbing up a huge flight of stairs. On the way up we saw many people meditating on large rocks that jutted out like tiny cliffs. The views were amazing, and the early morning haze blocked all but a hint of the far off mountains. Tiru is even bigger than I realized, and from so high up it looked so lifeless and peaceful, neither of which I would normally use to describe the busy town. On the way up we saw several men carving intricate figurines out of stone. About an hour later we reached the end of the main path. We were maybe two thirds of the way up, and at the end of it was a mini ashram full of potted tropical plant and a small wood hut for meditation. We asked if we could go any further and we were pointed to a solid wall of stone with an arrow pointing up painted on it. We looked further up the wall, and there was another arrow, tiny in the distance, also pointing up. Before I knew it Kartic started climbing like a monkey up the rock. I’m talking real rock climbing. Priya said that I wasn’t allowed to go because Kumari would get mad at her if I did, but when Pown and Priya’s friend also started to climb, I had to go. The only word I have to describe those next twenty minutes is intense. Never have I been so exhausted. I was actually happy to be barefoot because my feet could grab at the tiny cracks and bumps in the smooth rock, and the sweat on my feet gave good traction even if there was nothing for them to hold on to. It got to the point where it was a little easier to climb, but we knew that if we went any farther we would never be able to make it down. We rested and came down the rock cliff in a not so graceful controlled fall. When we finally got back to Priya and the normal path, my legs were shaking uncontrollably from the climb.

We took a different path down so we could see the cave that a holy man spent over sixteen years of his life in. The cave was painted white and beautifully decorated with a small shrine inside. We prayed, put the red and white chalk on our foreheads, and left. The path we took down the mountain was a lot shorter, but also a lot steeper, than the one we took up the mountain. It ended randomly in a tiny neighborhood. The road was very narrow, and little channels on the sides were used for trash, drainage, and sewer. We trekked barefoot through town back to the ashram.

When we got home we came in on a huge commotion. Finally the movers had come. I was tired, sore, and still hadn’t had breakfast, but I helped lug everything onto the big cart nonetheless. Getting everything out of this house wasn’t a problem, but getting it onto the second floor of the new one was. The stairs were way to narrow, so we had to stand on the cart with the fridge and other items raised above our heads while people on the second floor terrace hoisted it over the terrace ledge. Finally, after being up for over six hours, I had breakfast. And now, I think I will sleep.

Peace, Robby
A good view of Tiruvannamalai. The temple is huge!

The crew, looking adventury while taking a rest.


Another view of the temple while coming down the mountain.



Saturday, July 11, 2009

Prithivi, Skin, Doctor's Office

Hello Family and Friends,

So I know I always say this, but last night / this morning seriously were really quiet.

Yesterday Prithivi was brought back again. He is Prasad’s older brother. Their parents died a while back, and they were being taken care of by their grandmother and their uncle. I guess it became too much to look after them, because a month before I got here both Prithivi and Prasad were brought here. Prasad has adapted very well and has a lot of friends here; Prithivi, not so much. Prithivi has yet to spend more than two nights in a row here. He constantly runs away to his uncle or his grandmother. Every time it is the same story; they beg Kumari to take him back and promise that they have talked to him and that he understands that he needs to stay, and every time Kumari gives in. Finally, though, she said enough and enrolled another boy because she likes to keep the number at thirty, never even one more or less. When we woke up from our rest, though, there was Prithivi with his grandmother. Kumari is taking him in until we can decide what to do permanently, she refuses to have thirty one children at her current financial state. There is an orphanage in a nearby town that runs its own school. Because everything is all together, he will have less of a chance of running away, so Kumari is going to try and get him a spot there. I never have really interacted with Prithivi, but the thought of him has always made me kind of upset. Every time he runs away he is leaving his younger brother behind. In my mind, he has already lost his parents, why purposely try and loose your brother? Not only that, he takes things from his brother to help pay for his bus rides when he runs away several towns over to his grandmother.

Yesterday for the first time I got to know him. My first impression was that he was a very handsome boy and that he had perfect skin. Many of the children have scars and pimples from the heat, but Prithivi’s skin is flawless, even in comparison to the wealthy children I have seen in passing. He is also very, I don’t know how to put it, upright. He stands in a stretched sort of way, and always has perfect posture. He is very intelligent, and speaks with his eyes. He is twelve years old, but it is intimidating the way he comes off so perfect and almost better than everyone else. He was obviously intrigued by having a westerner here, and he spent a lot of yesterday evening with me. Conversation was difficult; he understands English but can’t speak it. Whenever I say something to one of the kids and they don’t understand, he quickly translates it to Tamil. But he has a hard time speaking to me. I’m trying to make this weekend interesting for him to try and see if by giving him attention he will be less likely to run away. I doubt he will leave this weekend, but come time for school Monday, we shall see.

Speaking of boils and pimples, Santhosh (there are two, both the same age, so all I can say is that he is the one with the skinnier face) came home with a huge swollen eye. He has had large boils on his head, which Kumari says occur when sweat glands get blocked up in the heat and then become infected. It is a vicious cycle, because they get huge, and if one pops, anywhere the fluid ends up another boil while form. He got several near the outside edge of his eye a couple days ago, and now they have gotten so big they have made it impossible for him to open his left eye. It is obviously painful, and a distant relative was going to pick him up to take him to a doctor. This elusive family member never showed up, so we will have to take him on Monday since it is too crowded on the weekend. So many of the kids have little skin problems. Kasthuri has had patches of skin that look like large grit sandpaper ever since she has been here. The doctor said it was from a lack of a certain vitamin, and she has been on supplements for over a year now with no result. I am a natural skin picker, if there is anything on my skin I feel the need to pop it or scratch it or pick at it. I have had to work really hard not to mess with my skin because who knows what I could end up with.

Last night we took Xavier to have his PPD (tuberculosis) test read. The doctor was hoping it would be the final conformation that Xavier did indeed have tuberculosis, but the raised area wasn’t as big as he hoped. He had us wait for a half an hour so he could then read it again, which I didn’t think would make a difference since the test is done over several days in the first place. It didn’t make a difference, but the doctor decided to go ahead with the tuberculosis treatment and have us come back in five days. While waiting for that half an hour, a group of men came in yelling and screaming for a doctor. They put a young man, probably in his mid to late twenties, on the floor. I could tell immediately from his color and by how stiff he was that the man was dead, and it took the doctor only a few seconds to come to the same conclusion. The man had died from an electric shock. Kumari was very upset from seeing him, especially since he was so young. The ride back was quiet.

This morning Kumari left for the market and I stayed home. Once again we are spending our day waiting to see if people will come to help us move. I am getting a little frustrated with the fact that we are wasting so much of our time waiting, but Kumari says that this is how it is here. People say they will do things and never follow through, or follow through much later. Hopefully, though, today will be different.

Have a good weekend,
Peace,
Robby

Friday, July 10, 2009

Results

Hello Everyone,

Once again it was a fairly quiet day. Yesterday evening when I got up Xavier was home from getting the MRI of his back. He was really worn out from all the traveling and his back hurt more than ever after having to lay so still in the MRI machine. He said they had to take it several times because he kept involuntarily twitching from the pain of having to keep so straight.

The children slowly rolled in from school and quickly got to work on their homework. Baboolu had homework too, for the first time. The teachers have been giving him a hard time because he doesn’t know anything and is way behind, and he feels no shame in admitting that they are correct. For homework he had to write the names of different animals in English, ten times each. I have never heard someone whine so much in my life. He kept throwing his arms in the air claiming his hand hurt too much from writing and that he needed a rest. All of the kids thought it was hilarious watching him do work, because usually he is the one harassing them while they try to finish their homework.

Pown and I took the motor bike to get water and print letters out. I have become a real pro at getting water. I get these big ten liter jugs of Bisleri water, and have to hand in my old jug. I read somewhere that this water isn’t always safe; the jugs are sent back to the company to be cleaned and refilled, and most of them are pretty beat up. Their caps are then covered with a piece of shrunk plastic wrap, and it isn’t hard to create counterfeit seals. Still, though, this is the only kind of water that I can buy in such large quantities, and even this much only lasts me two days. Buying hundreds of bottles would cost a lot more, and so far I have had good luck with this water. When we went to print out the letters there was some problem with the printer because I needed it on the WIDE letterhead. I wanted to know when it would be fixed. Should we come back later that night, or tomorrow? I felt really bad for Pown because he was trying so hard to translate and had no idea what I was asking. Finally he threw his hands in the air, stated that he did not understand, and we quietly left.

Later in the night we were all outside playing when the power went off. It was cloudy and everything was pitch black. The kids went crazy yelling and running around banging into one another. For some reason I have always liked power outages at night; it’s a change in the routine and there is something cozy and fun about only being able to see what lies in the small circle illuminated by your flashlight. Because of the power outage we weren’t able to serve dinner until later and everyone was starving. The lights came back in a little over an hour though.

After dinner the children presented Priya with tiny gifts for her birthday. The gift ranged from little handmade cards, to broken necklaces they found outside and then fixed with tape and string. Priya graciously accepted them all, and showed her presents off fondly to everyone. Subala gave her the funniest collection of strange broken knickknacks I have ever seen: a broen makeup mirror, a used container of foundation that only had a bit of powder left in it, several beads wrapped up in a piece of paper, and a colorful scrap of fabric. All of this was lovingly wrapped up between two sheets of ripped notebook paper that she decorated with highlighter and pencil.

Priya also received several figurines of different Hindu gods. The Xavier family is devoutly Christian, however they still respect and practice Hinduism as well. God, is God, Kumari says, and it doesn’t matter what figure or face you have given it, it is still God. All that matters, she believes, is that you pray and that your prayers go somewhere. I wish others could be so open to different beliefs. I spent the rest of the night having the children and Xavier tell me different stories behind the Hindu gods. Each child would yell out extra details to fill out any parts of the story Xavier was missing. When they finished, Kumari would then retell the story to me in English. The tales were fascinating, and I wish I had known the history and stories of the gods before I had gone on the mountain walk, I probably would have understood the paintings and figurines in the temples and shrines a lot better. I think my favorite god, of the ones I have learned so far, is Lord Ganesha. He both creates and destroys obstacles and problems; I like that he has a good and bad side.

Today most of the children had a holiday. Kumari and Xavier took the MRI scan to the doctor to have it read. I wanted to go too, but that would have left James alone with the kids, and he can be very rough and strict with them, so I stayed behind. I was with the kids until lunchtime when Kumari and Xavier returned. It seems that he has tuberculosis. It is in his bone, not his chest or lungs, so it is not contagious according to the doctor. Xavier feels pretty firmly that it is not tuberculosis, despite the tests saying otherwise. Still, the doctor ordered him medicine for five days, and after five days he will return for more tests. If it is looking better, he will need to continue on the medication for nine to ten months, and for one month he must do nothing but rest. If it doesn’t change after these five days, then they will have to open his back to remove fluid from the swollen area and run tests on that fluid. There is the possibility that he has tuberculosis plus some other infection on top of that, causing the swollen back. Time will tell.

The rest of the kids got home very early today; there was a bomb threat in one of the schools, so all the schools closed. Baboolu was probably the most excited about the unexpected break.

That is all for now,
Peace,
Robby

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Mini Bios and Errands

Hello All,

Yesterday consisted of, once again, waiting for people to help us move. Once again, they did not show up. For lunch we bought fish from a street peddler. We picked out the fish and the man stuck a stick into its mouth and violently thrust it around. Then he squeezed causing most of the insides to fall out of its mouth. Then he roughly rubbed it against a piece of wood in order to rip off the scales. It was, overall, a very violent process. With the fish in hand, Kumari and I set off to make fish curry. The curry itself was very good, but the fish was full of tiny bones, and it didn’t really seem worth all the trouble. After eating I blew my nose, which was running because of the heat, and a tiny fish bone that was in my throat shot up and entered my soft palate like an annoying little splinter. It took a lot to finally get that sucker out.

We took our rest early because we knew that when Babuloo got home from school he would not let us sleep at all. Babuloo came home (school is shorter for him since he is only 4 ½), and a couple hours later the rest of the children followed. Kumari and Xavier then left for the hospital to get another opinion about his back. Priya and I were in charge for the rest of the night. It was pretty quiet and relaxing; we just corrected homework and played with the ones who were finished. We ate dinner, and before I knew it, it was time for bed. I read for a couple hours, I wanted to be up when Xavier and Kumari returned from the doctor. They got home around 11:30, and I went out to meet them. They had the results of several blood tests, which revealed that something was indeed very wrong, but they needed other test to say just what. Kumari and I looked on the internet to see if we could get anymore information about the test results, but everything said the same thing, that more tests were required. The doctor did, however, order an immediate MRI, which Xavier went in for today. The town with the MRI machine is several hours away, and the scan is very expensive.

This morning I woke up and ate. We knew for sure that no one was coming to help move, so Kumari and I got other work done. We set out to write little mini biographies about each child, including their family background, history at WIDE, and interesting little things about them, such as their interests or personalities. I am going to take portraits of each of them to go with the biographies, and we are going to put them on the WIDE website (which currently is only offered in Dutch…). It was fun sharing stories about each child, and it was good for me to learn more about their backgrounds. I knew that we had several sets of siblings, but I wasn’t aware of just how many. Kumari has taken in siblings since she started, despite it being against the law. The law stated that you could only take in one child from a family, and that all siblings must be separated when being sent to orphanages, an idea that I found very sad. Already these children have been through so much, being separated from their brothers and sisters would only make it harder. Kumari, for the past several years, has ignored that rule. Just this year they changed it to be that you can take in two from the same family, but no more.

At one point I was writing about Mukesh, and I reminded Kumari of how worried he is about Xavier, and how caring he is. She told me that the other night she was outside, and when she came in a small group of four or five children were in a circle praying. She went back outside to let them be. When she came back in she woke up Mukesh and asked him about their prayers, and he said that they were praying for Sir (Xavier). Kumari says that all of the older children know exactly what is going on; they know if Xavier is sick, they know if there is a money or food problem, they are aware of any hardship WIDE is going through, and they always pray for the problems to be solved. It is incredible seeing such young children with such great faith. These children care so much for Kumari and Xavier. Kumari started to cry while she told me that when she and Xavier get old she doubts Priya or Prince, their own children, will take care of them. It will be Anitha, Durga, and Maha who will always be there. It is more than true, the children here love and worship Kumari and Xavier, treating them like the parents they don’t have.

Kumari and I then went into town to get some things, and we fought about whether today is Thursday of Friday. It is, in fact, Thursday, so Kumari won that argument. I get confused sleeping in the middle of the day, it makes one day seem like two. On the way back Kumari got into a huge fight with the auto driver over how much we owed. Everyone tacks an extra 5 rupees (about 10 cents) onto anything I’m involved in, and Kumari refuses to let me pay more than an Indian would, even if it isn’t that much more. The ride cost 30 Rs. (25 for the ride itself, an extra 5 because we had him wait for us), and he wanted to charge 35. I only had a 50 (aka, $1.25), which I gave to him. He didn’t want to give me any change, so Kumari reached into his pocket and pulled the change out for me. She started laughing very hard as we walked away from the stunned driver. All I can say is that I’m glad to have her on my side, she is vicious!

That is all for now,
I miss you all,
Peace,
Robby

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

A Quiet Day

Hello Everyone,

Yesterday was definitely very quiet. I woke up a little later than normal because I fell asleep late due to the walk the night before. I was pretty sore, and my feet were achy. I got up and had puttu. My stomach graciously accepted this dry, bland meal, especially after the hell it was put through the night before.

I noticed that Baboolu (Prince) was still home when I woke up. Since I have been here he has not gone to school. He was born prematurely, and gets sick often; he will go to school for a week, and then will have to stay home for a month. So far this year, he has been at school two days. Personally, I think that he could have been at school for a while now; all he does here is run around and terrorize everyone, so he must be feeling okay. Anyway, Kumari finally put her foot down and said that he had to go to school. Baboolu whined and said that he could not walk because his foot was in a lot of pain. He refused to move, and finally Kumari gave in. When I woke up he was running around and chasing the dogs. Tomorrow, I told her, he needs to go no matter what he says. This morning I woke up to Baboolu lying on the floor shaking uncontrollably. He was having a fit about going to school, and Xavier said that maybe we should wait another day. Kumari said she refused to let him stay home another day, and started dressing him. Baboolu had such a fit, and even though it wasn’t funny Kumari and I couldn’t help but start laughing. Whenever he would start going off again, Kumari would look at me with a smirk and roll her eyes. He refused to feed himself, so Kumari he to force feed him breakfast. Finally, after an hour of calming him down and preparing him, Prince was off to school.

Yesterday morning a man came to help Kumari make sure that we had all the proper paperwork for the inspection. In order to be government certified an orphanage has to have been open for a certain number of years and follow certain guidelines. I was thankful to have the man here to check my work. He gave me a couple letters and more spread sheets that needed to be typed, and I diligently abided. After he left the power went off, and during the hottest part of the day we had no fans.

Someone had told Kumari that they would bring some people to help move all of the big items such as the dressers, the refrigerator, the desks, and other things to the new house. We sat around waiting for them to show up. I was a little aggravated that we couldn’t work on the computer because the power was off, and we also couldn’t go into town and get things we needed in case that men showed up to help us move. In the end, the afternoon was basically a waste; no one showed up.

When the kids got home from school I helped them with their homework. When they finished, I let some of them draw in my sketchbook. Santosh and Subala wanted to play a game with me and I agreed. Santosh kept cheating, but when I protested in English he replied in Tamil, and no progress was made. Subala kept setting me up to get points on purpose, despite me telling her not to. Finally, whenever she set me up, I ignored the move she wanted me to make and did something else, which let Santosh get the points. With all the points I was passing up and, along with the fact that he was cheating, Santosh won.

The older boys got home a little later, and Jana sat with me and we spoke in broken English. Suseela, the servant woman, sat with us and she asked me questions through Jana. It was really difficult, especially since I usually need a translator just to speak to Jana, let alone using him as a translator. In the end though, it was nice to talk to Suseela. I like her more and more, and feel bad that I misjudged her in the beginning. She really does care about that children, and she has made this job her life. She goes out of her way to help, and when James goes off to drink or do whatever else he does Suseela helps in the kitchen even though it isn’t her job. James keeps asking for more and more money, and I have not seen her ask for a thing. One funny thing about Suseela is how angry she gets if any of the girl children touch me. Swetha has even turned it into a game; she will look Suseela right in the eye, raise her eyebrows, and then rest her hand on me. When Suseela reacts she runs away, just to come back and do it again.

After dinner I enjoyed the cool night with Xavier and Kumari. We talked for a long time, and in the conversation she mentioned that someone’s mother had breast cancer. She had a lot of questions about cancer, and I answered them to the best of my ability. I talked a little about mammograms and checking for lumps, and she very solemnly asked if the lumps hurt. At first I thought she was trying to tell me that she had a lump, but after taking me to talk in private she revealed that she was afraid Xavier might have a tumor or cancer of some kind. We discussed the fact that he needs to see a western doctor. I personally don’t feel that it is a tumor, but who am I to say? Still, I feel terrible for Kumari, she has so many things to worry about and Xavier’s back is yet another thing to add to her mountain of troubles. Close to tears, she explained that she had no idea what she would do or how she would manage if she did not have Xavier.

Before going to bed she checked her email and there was some good news. We might a potential company sponsor from the Netherlands. They said they would send two representatives in two weeks. Kumari is very hopeful that they will come while I am still here so I can help explain everything, and take them to visit the land. I hope I am here as well, I think they may have an easier time communication with me and I would love to put in a good word for Kumari and WIDE.

That’s all for now,
Peace,
Robby


This is Swetha, she has some of the funniest facial expressions I have ever seen, and she follows me around like a puppy. She tries very hard to get my attention, and when I finally look at her she makes a starnge face, and then runs away. She is so much fun, and is a little troulble maker.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Full Moon Pilgrimage

Hello All,

After a simple morning of helping Kumari yesterday, we took our afternoon rest. When I woke up Kumari rushed to me with the news that the full moon walk was that night, not the next day as we believed. On our calendar it showed the full moon being on the seventh, but apparently it started the night of the sixth and went until the seventh, so the walk was occurring that evening. I went onto the terrace to get a view of the main road in the distance; it was swarmed with people starting the pilgrimage.

Every full moon people come from across southern India to walk around the mountain that Tiruvannamalai is at the base of. They all walk to the front of the main temple, and from there their journey begins. It is believed that all of your thoughts and prayers that you make while circling the mountain will come true.

I immediately went to bathe, which is necessary before making the pilgrimage. Priya, Kartik, Pown, and Maha also got ready. Xavier could not make it out of bed, so Kumari needed to stay home with him. She made me promise to pray for him while making the journey. We all dressed in our best, and at 6:30 we finally left the house barefoot, as is tradition. We passed by the huge field down the road, which was being used as a makeshift bus station for all the people entering Tiru from states far and wide. We hadn’t even reached the road on which the actual trek occurred, but already we found ourselves stuck in a crowd. A very young girl came and started talking to me. She was pushing against my leg while pointing at things in the distance and speaking in broken English. I quickly realized that she was trying to steal from me, and stuffed my hands in my pocket discreetly. In the middle of her sentence she looked down, saw my now protected pockets, and without finishing her thought she disappeared.

We finally reached the front of the temple which was stuffed with people. It was beautifully decorated with flashing colored lights. People stopped in front of it to place their hands over their heads and show their respect. It took twenty hot and crammed minutes to work our way out of the crowd, and so our spiritual journey began. The roads we lined with little makeshift shops. People cooked prasad and handed it out for free, while others made more complicated dishes which you could buy. There were men carving figurines out of whatever they could get their hands on, and snake charmers dazzling the crowds with their bravery. Cows roamed the street, and herds of people surrounded them trying to place a hand on its sacred body and feed it holy leaves that were sold on every corner. Also lining the street were beggars, many of whom were deformed or missing limbs. They tried their hardest to make eye contact with people as they passed, and some of the limbless ones would roll around in the center of the road groaning and yelling; it was very disturbing and upsetting to pass by. As we left the main part of town it got a little quieter and a lot darker. I was terrified of loosing my group in the dimly lit crowd.

We had not eaten before we left, so about an hour into it we bought newspaper cones full of a cherry like fruit. Priya did not know its English name. The seller poured salt over the fruit before handing it to us; they love mixing sweet and salty here, a combination that I do not particularly enjoy. I washed my fruit in my water, and ate. I though the pit would be small and hard, like a cherry, but when I popped one in my mouth I found the flesh to be quite shallow, and the soft seed broke open in my mouth releasing an awful taste. I spit the pit out, but it left a strange coating in my mouth, which took an hour or so to finally leave. Next we stopped for fresh “sweet” coconut (which is cut from the tree still green and soft, not the brown ones you typically think of), which was being sold everywhere. You would pick out the large green fruit that you wanted and the person would chop off the top and stick a straw in it. It was not what I expected. It was a little salty, a little sweet, and very warm; overall I was very disappointed and a little grossed out. Everyone around me finished theirs quickly, so I choked the rest of it down, it was so full. Once you finished drinking you handed the empty shell to the man and he cut it open and scraped out the jelly like flesh. The flesh was just as bad; on top of having no flavor, the texture left much to be desired.

After our snack I started paying attention to those traveling around me. People of every age, position, and religion were making the journey. I saw Muslim men and women walking and praying next to Hindus. Christians stopped at crosses to pray, while Hindus prayed in front of shrines. The pilgrimage is all about faith, and I was amazed to see that it applied to all religions. Some men ran the whole thing in large panting groups. Certain holy men walked very slowly, heel toe heel toe. Other groups of religious men would chant or sing and play instruments. Others carried radios, some if which played spiritual music while others played strange Tamil renditions of early 90’s American pop. Even the crippled and sick made the journey. One boy limped past me; the whole top of his right foot was a gaping, oozing, puss filled sore.

Around 10:00, we decided to stop for dinner and a rest. We found a shack type place that was serving people and entered. We seated ourselves and waited to be served. There was a lot of whispering on the building, and Priya told me that they didn’t want to serve us because of me. Until this point people have always been nice towards me, and were usually curious. Some showed indifference, but never have I felt unwanted until this point. Pown went and pulled a server to our table to take our order. She grumbled and served us brown, awful smelling water. We waited for a while and watched others come in after as and get food right away. Pown went and talked to the head server again, and she reluctantly brought us food. I had ordered two parratas, and they were very small, certainly not big enough to make a full dinner, but I refused to order more despite Priya’s protests. While sitting and eating, the plastic chair I was sitting in literally crumbled beneath me, drawing even more unwanted attention. No one came to help us, so we brushed the chair until a pile and took another one from the table beside us. The place was very dirty, and almost immediately after eating I could feel my bowels protesting. The woman came to clear our water, which none of us drank, and spilled a whole cup on my lap. She didn’t say anything or even look at me after it happened, and I just sat there pretending not to be phased by the incident or how I was being treated. We were severely over charged, and I felt bad because I knew it was because of me, so I paid for dinner and left. The meal both emotionally and physically put a damper on the trek for me, despite trying my hardest to not let it get to me. But just to reiterate, this was only one incident, the rest of my time here I have been treated very well by everyone.

We continued the journey, and waves of immense pain spread through my lower bowels off and on for the rest of the time. Priya asked if I would like to use a public restroom that we passed, but the thought of paying to use a disgusting hole in the ground without toilet paper seemed worse than waiting until we got back home.

We stopped at one temple after eating. There were literally hundreds of Hindu temples and shrines along the way, but this particular temple was dedicated to Priya’s favorite god, so we entered. It was small and clean and beautiful. Sadly, I don’t remember the name of the god, he was not one that I have ever seen before and the name was not recognizable to me. We also stopped to have our fortunes told. Priya went first and then it was my turn. Priya told him my full name, which he repeated along with some words in Tamil. A colorful bird then popped out of this little box and pulled a tattered envelope out of a stack. The man pulled the card out of it and unfolded it. All the strangers around me gasped and started whispering to each other, I had no idea what the card meant but apparently it was very good. The man started talking in Tamil, and when I asked Priya what he was saying, but she shushed me. Afterwards she explained my fortune to me, and hers as well.

At eleven we finally came out of the unpopulated area and entered town again. A half an hour later we made it home. It was exactly a five hour journey, and my bare feet would not have been able to handle another step (my intestines could not have handled it either). After talking to Kumari about the trip, I fell into bed and slept the best I have slept since being here.

I was thinking earlier today about all the unbelievable experiences I have had that I never thought would happen, and taking a five hour barefoot pilgrimage around a sacred Indian mountain is certainly on that list.

Peace,
Robby


The mountain around which we orbited. This picture does not capture its full size, or the fact that all the land around it is completely flat. I took this picture as we approached the makeshift bus station, and sadly it is the only one from the whole journey. I was afraid of loosing my camera, plus it was very dark and I didn't want to draw attention with a flash.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Rickshaw Robber

Hello Family and Friends,

Yesterday was cool and very cloudy, so we went over to the field to play again. It wasn’t quite as fun as last time; there were a lot of other people there, and they didn’t seem to enjoy having kids run through their games. Some of the younger children collected some of the more interesting pieces of trash and made these really beautiful shrines; I think these kids have a future in modern art. Others collected berries and leaves and mashed them up in these pieces of pots that they found. They created a whole kitchen, and boys gathered random bricks to set the perimeter of the “house.” It actually was a lot of fun, and quite interesting. Then I learned different games that only required a few rocks, and other games that required nothing at all. It really is amazing what they come up with to do when they have so little. It is quite different from home where every toy imaginable is available, and where we feel the need to have exactly the right equipment for every game we play. We ended up playing catch with balls made out of wrapped up scraps of fabric, but our outdoor playtime was cut short by rain.

We all came back home and eat lunch, and the children slept while I read and wrote and chatted with Kumari about little things. It is funny, I talk to her nonstop because she is one of two people here that have a full understanding of English, but our conversation still never slows down. I went down for a nap as well, but was abruptly woken up by loud, angry yelling. I quickly crawled out of my mosquito net and looked out my window, and on the front porch was a man I did not know yelling at Xavier. He pushed Xavier, and Xavier pushed back strongly. I threw on my lungi and ran outside. I got out just in time to see the strange man grab James’ shirt, breaking his beaded necklace. This pushed James over the edge, and he punched the man in the stomach several quick and hard times. The man was finally subdued. By this time all the children, and the priest who visits on Sundays, were standing outside the front door watching. A congregation of neighbors and those just passing by had also formed outside the gate. Kumari finally explained to me what had happened. Right now one of their neighbors is away, so during that time we are watching their autorickshaw, which Xavier has been using to practice his driving on the back roads. Kumari was out hanging clothes and saw this man sitting in the auto, and asked him what he was doing. He drunkenly responded that it was his. She figured that he must be confused in his drunken state, and called for Xavier and James to get him. When they approached the auto they saw wires hanging out of the dashboard; the man was trying to hotwire the auto and steal it. The man tried to run so they dragged him into our porch area, and somehow the heated discussion had turned physical.

Xavier took the motor bike to get the police, while we locked the gate so the man couldn’t get out. He was angry and obviously very distraught about being in this situation. Kumari was incredibly upset. We are in charge of the auto, and if it was stolen we would have had to pay for it. It would cost 70,000 Rs, which, to put it into context, would pay the rent on this house for two years. She was also upset because Xavier’s back is worse and more swollen than ever and now he would be late for his medicine. About fifteen minutes later, Xavier returned with an officer who took the man to the police station. Kumari then got Xavier’s medicine ready. A little more about Xavier’s back; it literally looks as if someone put two balloons in it and then has slowly inflated them over the past several months. When he returned from the doctor several days ago he brought a bag full of different expensive herbal mushes and tablets. Kumari then had to mix all the herbal concoctions and pills together into a terrible smelling mud, which Xavier must drink twice a day on an empty stomach. I am all for herbal medicines and supplements, but only to a point. Xavier has had this problem now for a year, and it is going to take something serious to fix it. Any faith I had in the mix he is taking now was gone when Kumari told me that everyday she must boil and cool water, and mix his medicine with that water before he drinks it. I asked if that was to make sure it was clean, and she said no, it was for some other purpose. I can’t for the life of me think of anything, other than killing bacteria, that changes in water when it is boiled and cooled. The doctor also says that Xavier needs to go for a ten day massage treatment in a town twelve hours away. Kumari doesn’t know what she will do those ten days, because I will be gone, and also doesn’t know how they will be able to pay for that long of a hospital stay. Thankfully she plans on getting another, more western, doctor’s opinion before Xavier spends all that time and money.

After taking his medicine, Xavier went to the police station alone. An hour later Kumari decided that she should have gone with him, and made her way to the station as well. Later, while making dinner, Kumari told me what happened in the station. When she got there they had Xavier in a room and were harassing him and asking for money and bribes. Kumari marched into the room and declared that they would no longer be speaking to Xavier, only to her. They asked her to write out a formal complaint against the man that tried to steal the auto, and she insisted on filling it out in English as a way to show that she is more educated than them. They returned the money Xavier had given them because they knew that this educated woman knew the law and could get them in a good deal of trouble for refusing to do their jobs without a bribe. They then tried to tell her to write a story about the man that was not fully true. Kumari ripped up her complaint and said that informing the police about misconduct is her civil duty, but lying is not. She took Xavier and left. I admire this woman so much; she might be the strongest person I have ever met.

The night was fairly quiet. James marched around like a hero and several times he told me the story of how he punched the man. I sat in the kitchen with Kumari, and we talked. It was uncomfortably hot because we had to close the windows so the burners wouldn’t go out, but I know Kumari likes the company. That night we chained the auto to our fence, and Xavier called the neighbor to say that we no longer could watch it. Kumari and Xavier can’t be held responsible if something happens to it.

Today was quiet, the children went to school and we cleaned the house and got some things ready to move to the new building. Priya had a fever and didn’t go to college, so I watched a movie in Tamil with her. It was terribly done, but the songs were great, and it was so horribly overacted that despite not understanding a word, I still knew what was happening.

Okay, that is all for now,
Peace,
Robby