Summer 2009: Wide Children's Home, Tiruvannamalai

2009-07-21T19:08:00.002+05:30

So, my second post in one day.

This afternoon the kids danced again and I took videos. It was quite funny and a lot of fun. When they finished we all went inside, and the kids sat on the floor while I was presented with a large and elaborate paper, bead, string, and incense necklace which is Indian tradition to show their love and thanks. Kumari also presented me with a small Ganesh hanging lamp with little lights on it to remember everyone by. I gave all the children cookies, and after that they all came up to me to say anything that they wanted to say before I left. I was able to keep my composure until this point. A couple kids came up and then it was Ajith Kumar's turn, and he started speaking in Tamil and Kumari translated. Near the end he was crying so hard Kumari could no longer translate. I started crying too; he and I had really developed a close bond, and I could easily take him home in a second. Another thing that really struck me was how little the things they were thanking me for were. They were thanking me for things that I didn't even remember, and it is really sad how such small things that I had overlooked made such an impact on these children. Swetha was too upset to even say anything so I just hugged her for a very long time. She is another one that I will miss more than even I can imagine. Each child, after speaking to me, hugged me and kissed me on the cheek, the sweetest, softest kisses. I am so glad I took this trip, and I am so glad that I have shared a part of my life with each of these kids, and that they have shared a part of their lives with me.

Peace.

My last day

2009-07-21T16:29:00.000+05:30

Hello Family and Friends,

Last night nothing really earth shattering occurred. I went and picked up my new glasses with Pown on what will most likely prove to be my final ride on the motorbike. The glasses look really good, but the prescription seems a tiny bit strong because after wearing them for several hours I had a pounding headache. Later in the night Kumari sat with me while I began to pack all of my things. We made the final arrangements for the car to pick me up, and the fact that my time here is almost up really began to sink in. I slept terribly last night.

This morning I woke up absurdly early around five o’clock. I hung out with the kids as they slowly rolled awake too. Today is another festival day, so none of the kids, except Baboolu, had school. Baboolu has been really good about school the past couple days, but today he really regressed. Kumari didn’t want him to know that everyone else was staying home, so while she was getting him ready, whenever anyone walked by the door she would yell at them for not being ready for school. “Yes, miss” they would say while smirking and then hurried away from the door to play. Kumari thought this was hilarious; I’m pretty sure one of her favorite things to do is trick Baboolu. He was flailing, kicking, and screaming while Kumari placed him on the motorbike with Xavier. He kept clawing at her and fell off the bike a couple times in his tantrum. A neighbor woman came over, positioned him on the bike, and off Xavier went. All the kids smiled and waved goodbye to him as they sped down the road. You could hear his wailing even after they had disappeared from sight.

I packed while Kumari was cleaning in the kitchen and Xavier was resting. The children were all playing, and nothing seemed unusual. All of a sudden there was a huge commotion and Kumari, Xavier, and I all ran outside. The children were carrying a screaming, biting, and convulsing Naveen to the house. Slowly we pieced together what happened. Naveen, just a reminder, is the one who steals and whose father is in jail for brutally murdering his mother. Naveen went onto the terrace, sat in the edge, blindfolded himself, and said he was going to jump off. Maha, his sister, told everyone to be quiet, she didn’t want him to get into more trouble and she thought she could handle it herself. She went onto the terrace and pulled him off the ledge. This made Naveen angry, so he beat his sister unconscious and then tried to run away. He had with him an address to who knows where, and money he had stolen. The children ran after him and caught him and then carried him back. It was at this time that they got our attention. Most of the boys that captured Naveen had bite marks on their arms and hands. Maha returned to consciousness pretty quickly. Naveen sat in the corner of the main room shaking while Kumari, Xavier, and I discussed the situation. Kumari and Xavier seem to think he needs to be sent somewhere else that is more disciplined. They want to send him to jail school, which is even worse than it sounds. There the children are beaten for the smallest misconduct and they are never allowed outside. Kumari and Xavier asked Maha what she thought and she started to cry while saying that she thinks he needs more discipline too. I felt bad for the poor girl who basically was just asked to damn her brother. I feel even worse because Naveen, despite having some bad habits, is really fun, playful, and overall a good kid. Kumari is afraid that he will turn out like his father, but I think that over disciplining Naveen will have a negative effect; it will harden him even more. The uncle is coming tonight to discuss what should be done. I plan on fighting for Naveen; I agree that maybe he should be somewhere that doesn’t give as much freedom to the kids, but jail school should be a last option.

I spent the rest of the afternoon with Kumari in the kitchen learning to make egg curry, one of my favorites. Now I am going to rest, because I am leaving tonight at eleven for Chennai, and then my flight leaves at four fifteen, so I will certainly get no rest later.

All my love,
I will be home soon,
Robby

Patti and the Park

2009-07-20T14:02:00.002+05:30

Hello,

Yesterday evening had its emotional ups and downs. The down part happened after lunch. I was doing some work organizing the files in my room, and got a little bored so I went to see what everyone else was doing. There was a very well dressed woman and a young man in Kumari’s room along with the rest of the family. Kumari introduced the woman as her sister and the man as her nephew, and I thought for sure I had misheard. Kumari’s sister married a wealthy man three times her age when she was sixteen. They moved to Dubai where they had two children, a boy and a girl. The husband died soon after, of old age. Kumari’s sister has been in Dubai living a very wealthy lifestyle ever since, and her son now goes to school in Australia. Her sister hasn’t been in touch in years and they haven’t seen her in at least a decade. When Patti (patti = grandma in Tamil) got sick last year and they thought she was going to die, the sister couldn’t be bothered with it. Kumari, who has nothing, had to take care of all the medical expenses while her sister lived the life in Dubai, one of the wealthiest cities in the world. This is all that I had been told by Kumari about her sister, so I was very surprised to see her standing there in the room. I awkwardly shook hands with her and her son, and feeling the tenseness in the room, I wisely decided to go and check on the kids.

After they had left I returned to the room. Patti was lying on her side crying, and Kumari was quietly eating. The sister had flown all the way from Dubai not to see her family, but to visit the temple. Seeing them had been an afterthought, which Kumari and Patti could tell from the sweets and the sari she had bought them as gifts from the store literally right outside the house; the gifts were still in the store’s plastic bags with the receipts. Patti was the most upset, she had given up so much to educate her daughters, whom she raised alone. Patti kept looking at the 1,000 Rs ($20) that her daughter had given her, and you could tell that this “gift” was killing her inside. New tears kept falling from her sunken eyes, and I wanted to put my arm around her and comfort her, but the social rules are so different here I didn’t know what was acceptable so I just sat with them quietly. Kumari and Xavier kept trying to reassure Patti saying that they were there and that they would care for her, she didn’t need anyone else. An hour later Patti was still lamenting; she whispered miserably “she bought the sari from right there” while pointing down the street. I can’t even begin to imagine her pain.

Kumari was both angry and humiliated by the visit. Angry because everyone, including Patti, was happy without her; she was a distant memory. Coming back made things worse; it may have made her feel better about abandoning the family, but it made her family feel terrible. Kumari was humiliated because of how her sister looked at her. Her sister gave no warning about the visit. Kumari was in the kitchen cooking; her old house dress had a fine mist of oil on it, her arms had batter smeared on them from making idilies, and her hair was caked in a mud of henna to dye any stray gray wisps. Her sister was dressed finely in real silk, a jeweled bindhi on her forehead, and her skin was fair from never being touched by the sun. In her sister’s presence the reality of how poor Kumari is was really drilled in. Kumari had offered her sister and her nephew lunch, and she could see a flash of disgust on her sister’s face before she “graciously” declined. The house, though cleaned everyday, was looking especially messy since it was the final day of a three day weekend for the children. The laundry had piled up in the corner of the room since everyone has been too busy with the kids to do it. When her sister left, Kumari cleaned the room, did the laundry, bathed, and put on her most beautiful sari in what seemed like an attempt to salvage what was left of her pride.

A little bit later Kumari tricked Baboolu into going to the new house with Priya so we could take the rest of the kids to the park. Kumari doesn’t let Baboolu go out with the other kids because he is such a nuisance and makes it difficult for everyone else to have fun. He knew, though, that something was up because the family was speaking in Hindi to plan the park trip, a language they only speak when they don’t want him to understand. When we finally got him away, I revealed to the kids that we were going to the park and they went crazy; they haven’t been on a big outing like this since December. They all got dressed in their nicest clothes for the trip. The three autorickshaws came to pick is up, and we had to fit the kids into the little space like it was a puzzle. On the way to the park I ended up having three kids on my lap. The ride wasn’t too long, and I realized that I am really figuring my way about the town. When I first got here all the roads looked the same, and, with the auto drivers swerving down the road like a child who just got the training wheels taken off their bike, it was hard even to tell what direction we were going in. But, alas, a month later (oh my goodness I’ve been in India for a month…) I have figured out the roads.

We got to the park and I was could not believe how clean and beautiful it was. It had a wonderful view of the mountain that wasn’t obscured by any man made objects. The plants were bright, colorful, and well kept. The playground itself stretched throughout the park, and the different pieces were hidden into little alcoves in the shrubbery, bamboo, and cacti. Nothing was made of plastic; it was all wood, polished cement, and metal. Parts of it even seemed to melt into the natural setting. The play equipment was also a lot of fun. The slides were steeper than I have ever seen before, and the things to climb reached high into the sky. At first I wondered why we don’t have playgrounds like this in the US but then realized that though this was probably the best playground I have ever seen, it was also the most dangerous. In the US the owner would have been sued the moment the gates opened. One thing to climb on was a metal shell that extended two and a half stories overhead. You could climb it on nets, ropes, or steel rings. Hanging from the center was a giant mass of tires, on which probably at least fifteen kids were hanging. There were some were staying in nooks inside the mass, some were standing on top of it, others were hanging on to the sides, and some dangled from the bottom. This giant pendulum of childrem swung from side to side while men ran and pushed it so high that it went straight over their heads. This was probably one of the most dangerous toys in the park; children would fly off it and land head first into the rocky sand, and would be whisked away screaming by their mothers. Dhanalakshmi fell off and got a rock stuck in her forehead. Kumari popped the tiny stone out like a strange pimple, and blood drained from the little hole. We decided to move to a different, safer, part of the playground.

The next place we visited was a maze made out of a very prickly plant (I told you this place was awesome!). The kids had a blast running around in it while Kumari and I sat on the sides and watched. Some kids caught butterflies which were everywhere. They fluttered around our faces and the dead ones crunched beneath our feet. The kids took the powder off the dead butterfly’s wings and placed it on their foreheads for financial luck. At six the park closed and we crammed back into the autos to return home. The rest of the night was quiet. Naveen and Maha came back, and Naveen admitted to stealing the money and also that he had taken and hid Priya’s flash drive. Hopefully he won’t have anymore problems like this.

This morning I woke up early, with only two days left I don’t want to miss a thing. I had breakfast and Kumari and I went to Xerox and print out some things. I finished organizing the office, and I have a couple more things to do. We set up the car to pick me up tomorrow night at 11, my flight leaves at 4 in the morning and it is a three hour drive to Chennai. Hopefully I will get all my work done today so tomorrow can be spent relaxing with Kumari, Xavier, and Patti.

Peace,
Robby

Me and Patti. I was pleased that she was actually the one who wanted this picture taken.

Everyone at the park. I think some of the kids weren't quite ready for this picture...

One of my favorite pictures ever, this is Mukesh with one of the butterflies he caught. They would make wishes on them and then let them go.

Brothers, Prasad and Prithivi.

Kumari leads the way into the park.

The Calm Before the Storm

2009-07-19T11:50:00.002+05:30

Hello,

Last night James randomly left, so Kumari had to do all of the cooking. I spent most of the evening in the kitchen with her, Durga, and Sasheela. She made a typical vegetable curry which consisted mostly of okra, and then she started to make something out of the leaves of the drumstick tree. We have a drumstick tree out front (they really are everywhere) but it hasn’t had any drumsticks since they had to cut it back for the power lines. I had tried the leaves before in a sambar, and they were pretty good though a little bitter. Kumari, even though I had tried some before, seemed convinced that they wouldn’t suit me and that it would give me “loose motion” and only let me have a little bit. She cooked it in oil with some spices, several chilies, and fresh coconut. It was amazing and I kept insisting she give me a normal serving. It was good at the time, but, like usual, Kumari was right and this morning was a little miserable.

After dinner we tried to get some work done on the computer since the power was off all day, but the internet was failing miserably, so we finally decided to make it an early night. When I woke up, James once again was not here, and I found Kumari angrily cooking. She is starting to get incredibly fed up with him just leaving whenever he feels like it. Hopefully they won’t need him for too much longer; he was only hired when Xavier got sick and Kumari had to take over what Xavier typically did. After breakfast I ran a couple errands on foot, and took Venky and Prithivi along with me. Prithivi is the biggest talker ever, and for the first twenty minutes or so I tried very hard to understand everything he was saying, but when he didn’t even stop to take a breath I slowly gave up. Poor Venky couldn’t get a word in even if he wanted to.

When we got back someone was holding a meeting in our main room and all the kids were playing quietly outside. It is some kind of get rich quick scheme that Kumari’s distant relative is involved in, and Kumari let them meet here. Thankfully Kumari and Xavier aren’t involved. The meeting set up camp right in front of my door, so I’ve been trying hard not to come in and out because they immediately stop what they are doing to stare; so for now I am kind of trapped in here. Hopefully it won’t last much longer.

The rest of this morning should be pretty quiet, but this evening after lunch we are taking the children to some park that is pretty far away. We have to take an auto there, which costs money, so the kids never go unless they have a visitor. I’m saving up my energy for what is sure to be an exhausting outing. I’m glad, though, that this is how I will be spending my last full day with the kids, since Monday and Tuesday they have school.

Peace,
Robby

New Glasses and Such...

2009-07-18T18:33:00.003+05:30

Hello Family and Friends,

Yesterday afternoon was uneventful, just hanging out with the kids since everyone was home. Later I took a much needed bath. I don’t know why, maybe because they are so dry otherwise, but even washing my hands quickly makes the tips of my fingers turn white and prune up. After bathing, the latch in the bathroom was stuck and after pushing on it hard it finally slid open. My soft, pruned thumb was sliced open by the latch and immediately started bleeding. I tried to hide it while I left the bathroom, but Prince saw the blood coming down my hand and started freaking out getting Kumari’s attention, who also freaked out. It bled hard for several minutes, and when it finally slowed down it revealed the tiniest, shallowest cut I have ever seen in my life. I embarrassedly slapped a band-aide on the bloodiest paper cut ever.

A little before seven, Kumari, Priya, and I left for the optometrist. I was just tagging along because any trip outside always offers a new experience. When we got there Priya started looking at frames, and I asked how much they were. She was looking at 300 Rs. frames, the equivalent of a little more than six dollars. At that point I knew I would not be able to help myself, and started looking at the “specs” myself. I found two that I liked, one grandpa type pair that were big and tanish plastic, and another pair that were silver with no frame on the bottom half. This pair will be my professional pair, and I figured they would make my mom happy since a year later she is still getting used to my Ray-Bans. I had to get my eyes examined, which I was able to get done for free since the place was owned by a family friend. The exam was very archaic and different from other eye checkups I have had. First the doctor was able to look at my glasses and tell what my current prescription is. I was pretty impressed, I know my prescription from my contacts, and he was dead on. He then strapped strange things to my face and slowly discovered that my left eye had gotten .5 worse, while my right had stayed the same. The exam went fine and I was able to understand him pretty well, except for one part. He had just been shining a light in my eye for what seemed like forever, and then he strapped a large interchangeable pair of glasses on me with my new prescription in them. He wanted to make sure it was okay and asked me to read the smallest line on the screen. I could see fine, but the image of the light was burned into my eye and blocked anything that I was looking straight at. I tried explaining and I could tell I was making him a little angry. Just read the bottom line, he kept repeating, his voice getting louder and louder while I continued to try and explain. The light, I pleaded. Yes, he said, I am finished with the light, now you read the bottom line. I looked at Priya for help, but she just shrugged her shoulders. I sighed and told the doctor that I could see the bottom line very clearly, and in the end, that was that. For the lenses and the frames and the eye exam, the total was $32, for two pairs of glasses!

We returned home and the children had already eaten dinner. Sangeetha, the one who sometimes has episodes, had urinated during dinner while just sitting there and Kumari asked her if she had been taking her medicine. Sangeetha finally admitted that she had lost the key to her box. Kumari was very angry, she had put several people in charge of making sure Sangeetha was taking her medicine all of whom had been assuring her that she was, and when she finally broke the box open she could tell that Sangeetha hadn’t taken it in a while. I ate dinner with the family and then went to bed fairly late.

This morning I woke up sweating like you wouldn’t believe; the power had gone out and the fan was off. It is the third Saturday of the month, so the power was turned off all day, until just now (seven o’clock). I ate breakfast and then got to work taking the portraits of each child. I have been making a conscious effort today to take more pictures, I really haven’t taken that many so far. Whenever I pull out my camera it distracts the kids, and I always feel strange taking pictures out in public, because it causes me to draw even more attention to myself.

Kumari went to the market and when she returned we spent an hour or so sorting the large bags of random vegetables. When we finished it was time for lunch, and after lunch the children all rested. When they got up we played the coin-number game, which has always been my favorite. The game, though, has slowly involved more and more cheating by all parties. At first certain rules were secretly overlooked, and then openly overlooked. Today it was at its worse, people were trading coins openly (your coins are supposed to stay your coins) and the littler ones would look over your shoulder to see what you needed, and then search through the pile and secretly trade you for the coin that you needed. In the end, though, with everyone cheating, it was actually just as fun.

I sat with Kumari, who was cooking, until the power came on, and then I came to type this up. That has been my day.

Peace,
Robby

Me, Subala, and Gokila. Gokila is gorgeous, in case you couldn't tell.

Sorting through just one bag of vegetables. It is crazy to think how much food is needed for thirty children, plus the payment boys, plus the family, plus James and Sasheela.

Ranjeeth, Santhosh (one of two...), me, Prasad, and Kasthuri, all out on the back walkway / porch thingy.

Lots of Errands

2009-07-17T14:47:00.000+05:30

Hello,

Yesterday afternoon we ran some errands; it turned out the optometrist didn’t come in until 7, so we weren’t able to get Priya’s glasses. We got other things that we did need, though, so the auto ride wasn’t a waste. On the main street there was a white family looking lost and confused as ever. It looked as if the sky opened up and they were just dropped in the middle of India. I knew enough Tamil to tell that everyone around them was making fun of them. They spoke only German, which no one here knows; people here only speak Tamil and maybe a little English or Hindi. They were all inappropriately dressed; the woman had their shoulders showing and everyone was wearing shorts, two things you would never see here otherwise. I, honestly, was a little embarrassed to be associated with the group. Thankfully, though, I don’t think I stand out as much as I used to. My shirts all look grungy from being dried in the dusty wind, I’ve gotten tanner, my glasses, surprisingly, are very similar to the ones worn by most adults, and my lungis have gotten soft from wear. Everyone here brushes coconut oil into their hair, and with the amount I sweat and the infrequency of my bathing, my hair also has taken on a slightly greased look. Another thing that has helped me fit in a little better is that I am skinny. Two of the women in this family were larger. They certainly weren’t even close to the largest people I have seen, and in the west their weight would have gone without a second thought. Here, though, that is all people could notice. Even Kumari started laughing and commenting on how big they were. When she calmed down she turned to me and very seriously asked me if it was safe for them to be on a plane. “Did they have to be separated onto different planes to distribute the weight?” she asked me very sincerely. Then it was my turn to laugh.

Once we finished our errands we went straight to pick Baboolu up from school. We had to wait a while outside the gate, where, amongst all the parents, it certainly felt like I didn’t belong. The school was very large and clean and nice, and like everything else here, it was very open to the outdoors. There were fluorescent bulbs strapped to the trees. Fluorescent lights were one of the first thing I noticed here when I got off the plane. They are everywhere along the roads and in houses, and they are always bare. They stick out of the ground in front of every hut like glowing poles. I don’t know how it works, but it looks as if every hut is allotted one fluorescent bulb to be placed out front. The bulbs hang from trees, they are strapped on to random objects; they are everywhere. Outside my window there is one precariously hanging from the top of the electric pole. The one on the front porch hangs by two wires wrapped directly onto the glass.

After fifteen or so minutes of waiting we finally were let into the school. When Baboolu saw me he got really excited and ran to hold my hand. I met his teacher who seemed very nice. We walked back to the auto and I got several strange looks inquiring who this strange white man with a little Indian boy in hand was.

We got home and rested. The rest of the children got home fairly soon after. Naveen did not come home, and apparently Maha ended up leaving the school as well to look for him on her own. We called their grandfather, who seemed fairly convinced that they would either end up back at WIDE or at his house. This morning they still haven’t returned. The night was otherwise very quiet.

This morning I got up and was not really feeling all that well. Kumari, not knowing how I was feeling, made a special different kind of chutney to have with dosais. The chutney was fantastic, and I was upset that I wasn’t able to eat more of it. After an hour or so I felt a lot better, which was good because today is a festival day so the kids don’t have school. I took Ajith Kumar and Mukesh with me to the bank, which was a much farther walk than I thought it would be. The whole way I was harassed by auto drivers who I guess just assumed that as a westerner I am not capable of walking anywhere. They also all seemed to assume that I needed to go to the ashram. “Ramanashram, Ramanashram?” they would yell at me. Some drivers would even cut me off by stopping their autorickshaws right in my path in an effort to force a ride on me. When we got back I almost immediately left with Kumari and Durga to get office supplies. We walked to a shop that was fairly close, but everything was expensive, so we took an even farther walk to a main road to get an auto. We picked up what we needed and came home for lunch. Now I have the files and things needed to create and organize an office for Kumari, so I am going to get to work.

Peace,
Robby

Naveen Trouble, and the Doctor

2009-07-16T16:17:00.000+05:30

Hello Everyone,

Yesterday evening was pretty normal. We rested after picking Baboolu up from school. He is feeling a lot better about school now. Xavier had a talk with him about how since he is sick Baboolu is going to have to take care of him, and he can only do this if he is educated. Plus, the teacher praised him a lot yesterday, so he was feeling better about himself. We woke as the children started coming back from school. Naveen had a new toy with him, along with forty rupees. Priya had fifty rupees that just went missing, and Naveen’s story about how he got the money continued to change. He has a history of stealing; when he lived with his grandfather he would always steal. Kumari was very upset that he was taking from them when they already give everything the have to the kids. To make matters worse, Xavier was feeling better today and visited the schools; he used to talk to the teachers almost every day. It turns out that since Xavier has been too sick to do his regular checkups, Naveen has not attended school. Xavier came home to let us know that Naveen was not at school and hasn’t gone for the past couple weeks, right when Naveen’s grandfather called. Naveen went to his grandfather’s house and said that the school was asking for fifty rupees, the grandfather gave it to him and Naveen left. The school is not asking for any money. Kumari doesn’t know what to do, and I guess I will have to wait and see how this afternoon goes when Naveen comes home.

The other news that we got last night had to do with the wealthier orphanage in Tiru; high school aged children from that orphanage were picking up Chella by his neck and choking him. To add insult to injury, the teenagers then mocked all of our kids for coming from such a poor orphanage. Though this situation is maddening no matter what, the fact that they were beating up Chella, the youngest child at WIDE, of all the children really made me angry. In addition, one of their teachers is the director of this other orphanage and he called up Sathiya to question her about the white man that had come to visit WIDE. He wanted to know what I was doing and where I was staying. When he heard that I was staying with the children he laughed and poked fun at WIDE and Kumari for apparently not knowing how to treat a foreigner. I would just like to say that I have been treated better than I could have ever imagined, and that I am truly enjoying staying in the same home as the kids; I like being where all the action is. Kumari and everyone else have gone out of their way to make me feel comfortable, and I am forever grateful.

After listening to the children’s stories we all bathed and got ready to go to the hospital. Xavier felt well enough to shave and comb his hair, and this is the first time I have really seen him cleaned up. At seven we got an auto and made our way to the hospital. We were appointment number eight, and it turned out we had missed our spot, so we had to wait several hours. It wasn’t too bad, though, because I enjoy people watching. The security guard at the hospital was rolling cotton onto sticks to make swabs, and several times I watched him sneeze or cough right into the cotton. People here don’t cover their mouths when they cough; instead they bang the top of their heads. The next time I have a cold I want to try this to see what, if any, effect banging your head has while coughing. There was a very sick woman who couldn’t even sit upright there with her sister; a very young fair skinned bride with her rough husband; a man that had something sticking out of his knee and blood flowing from his forehead; and an old woman who couldn’t take her eyes off of me and was there even longer than us. Everyone was very crammed together and all I could envision were all the strange and dangerous disease inducing microbes floating through the air towards me.

When we finally were seen, the doctor did the typical checkup and asked the typical questions, and then wrote out the prescription for another ten days. When he finished Kumari told him that I had some questions, which led to a little bit of awkwardness. At first I was a little nervous, but I soon got into the flow of the questions that I wanted answered. Over time I realized that I was actually making him nervous; he is not used to being questioned about any of his decisions. He started to warm up to me a little and then we discussed the final cost for the one year treatment. He was going over what different things cost, and he said that his fee is 75 Rs. per visit, but sometimes he waives the fee, depending on his mood. He thought his joke about charging based on his mood was hilarious and he burst out laughing, and his laughter was really contagious. When we finally left we weren’t charged anything, other than for the medications, so I’m guessing he was in a good mood.

We got home around 11 and I finally ate dinner, and quickly went to sleep. This morning I woke up very earlier, and was with the children for a couple hours before they had to leave for school. I then ate breakfast and got some work done, and am now about to go with Priya to get new glasses. Hers broke a month ago, and just now they have gathered enough money to get a new pair. School has been difficult for her since she hasn’t been able to see the board.

I hope all is well at home; I will be back in less than a week!

Peace,
Robby

Water Walk and Marc Anthony

2009-07-15T14:35:00.000+05:30

Hello Family and Friends,

There is nothing really new to report. Xavier was feeling better yesterday and now it is taking all of Kumari’s and my power to convince that he still needs to rest. Still, though, it is nice that he is able to move around and that the medicine isn’t making him nauseous anymore.

The children came home and did their homework. I got to meet Subala’s and Swetha’s mother. She is very young and pretty, and has a one and a half year old son. When she was four months pregnant with her son her husband, the children’s father, disappeared. She wasn’t able to take care of Swetha, Subala, and now a son, all by herself. She was able to get a death certificate for her husband, even though there is a chance he just ran off, and put Subala and Swetha here at WIDE. She also tried to give Kumari her son, but Kumari did not and does not have the means to take care of such a young child. She offered the mother a place to work here so she could make money, be fed, and stay with her daughters, but the woman didn’t want to leave her hut, which if left vacant for too long would be taken by the government. Each child has such a deep and personal background story; each history is different, but heartbreaking nonetheless.

After everyone was finished their homework I was flooded by children that wanted to sing songs for me. There is a singing contest at one of the schools, and many of the children have entered and now want to practice. Everyone was taking turns singing short tidbits, but when it was Subala’s turn she started sing the longest song I have ever sat through. Several minutes into it all the other children were getting restless, and even I was wondering when it would be over. Finally I said enough, and told her that it was the longest song I have ever heard in my life, which all the children thought was hilarious. For the rest of the night she would come up to me and start singing it all over again, and I would jokingly run away from her.

I realized this week that the way I’ve been interacting with the children the past couple days is much different than I have been in the past. Until now all of the kids have sort off walked on eggshells around me, timidly approaching me to play games, or shyly asking me to go over their homework. This week any reservations they had about me have disappeared. They are pulling on me, demanding my attention. They purposefully poke me just so I will chase them and catch them. Subala is the most aggressive, especially for being so tiny. She will purposefully copy my every move until I grab her and tickle her. She will climb under my chair and pull on my legs or bang the bottom of my seat in an effort to get some reaction out of me. Basically they are treating me like another kid, which I love.

This morning I was low on water so I decided to walk and get some on my own. The little place that I get my water isn’t that far away, and it seems silly to make someone else come and ride the motorbike with me. It was a nice quiet walk through different neighborhood streets. There is a lot of construction going on in several places on the way. It is so different, everything is done by hand. Women sift sand and then carry large bowls of it precariously balanced on their heads. The bowls of sand, along with buckets of water and stacks of bricks, also being carried on top of their heads, slowly make their way up the rickety rope and wood scaffolding. It is an intriguing process and very methodical. One time I was explaining to Kumari how my house is made mostly of wood, and then covered with aluminum siding and sand and tar shingles. She found the whole idea mind boggling, and after pondering it for several seconds she declared that such houses would not do in India, and that was that.

One funny side note, when I got my water I was approached by to young, who seemed pretty convinced that I was Marc Anthony. They were pretty disappointed to find out that, alas, I am only Robby Pagels. I thought it was pretty funny that I, a nineteen year old white boy, was mistaken for a famous forty year old Latin American man.

After that I did some paperwork with Kumari. With only a week left, there is still a lot that I want to get done here, including (but not limited to): creating and organizing a library, creating an office in the new house, finishing the paperwork needed for inspection, finish typing final drafts of the children’s bios, taking pictures of every child individually to go along with their information, and making sure that everything is worked out with Xavier’s health and the doctor before I leave, because their doctor does a poor job of explaining things in ways that non-medical people can understand. I think that may be all I have planned so far, but I’m sure more jobs will pop up.

Peace,
Robby

Baboolu goes to school, and we go shopping

2009-07-14T15:41:00.001+05:30

Hello All,

Yesterday evening I didn’t get much rest, I wanted to be awake when Kumari and Xavier returned from the doctor’s. Five hours later they returned. The wait in the doctor’s office is terrible, and you can’t make appointments in advance; instead you have to make the appointment in person on that same day. Kumari thought it was very strange when I told her that I already had a doctor’s appointment set up for a couple weeks after I get home, and that the appointment was made before I even left for India. While waiting there was no place for Xavier to lie down and he ended up vomiting several times. The doctor said that his feelings were all side effects of the medicine, and that it was something he would have to deal with until his body got used to the drugs. He did, however, change the times that Xavier is supposed to take the meds. Before he took everything at once in the morning, but now it is split into the morning and the night. The doctor also suggested drinking a lot of fluids, specifically juices and buttermilk. Today Xavier is feeling better, and tomorrow he will have been taking the medication for five days, so we will go back to the doctor again.

It was a relatively relaxing evening, the kids all had a lot of work so there was little for me to do. Prithivi actually came back after school; this is the first time he has gone to school without running away. A couple days ago I talked to Kumari about making Prithivi feel like he is here for us, not that we are here for him. We worked out jobs to give him so that he will feel like he has a purpose and is needed here. Kumari also had a talk with him about how he is the oldest so he is in charge of all the other children. He seems to like this position of power and has been to be a little more upbeat.

This morning I woke up, for the second time in a row, to Baboolu screaming. His grandmother was holding him and he was shaking all over and completely freaking out. Tomorrow, tomorrow, he kept pleading. I told Kumari that if she let him stay home then I would carry him to school myself; everyday he stays here it is only going to be worse. I can’t believe that Kumari, who is so strict about studying with all of the other children, keeps letting her own son skip school. He doesn’t like school because he feels behind everyone else, but if he keeps staying home than he is going to be even more behind. Xavier was finally able to calm Prince down by bribing him, but I don’t think that was the best solution because now he will expect something every day he goes to school. Hopefully he will start feeling better about school soon.

When everyone left for school I ate and took a much needed bath. Kumari and I then took a short walk to pick up curd for Xavier, since the curd she made the other day still hasn’t finished condensing, and some eggs. It was a tiny shop and Kumari admitted that in the seven years she has lived in this house she has never been to this shop because it is so close that she can just send the children to pick things up when needed. On the way back we got completely sand blasted. The wind here keeps on picking up, and it has gotten terrible. Everything is covered in dust (my book, by the end of the day, usually has a substantial layer on it) and the wind whips the dust, dirt, and sand roughly against any bare skin. Walking down the street you have to keep your head bowed to protect your eyes, and you have to breathe through a handkerchief.

After running that mini errand we went into town. Once again I got to see Kumari’s fine haggling skills at work. The shopkeepers always point at me and say that we could easily pay the full price. She always respond with something along the lines of “who, him? He’s a student; he has no money at all!!! Why, he’s poorer than you are!” or “We are buying two things, so you can take at least thirty percent off the marked price. Otherwise we will only buy one thing… or maybe nothing at all.” She gets excited about every rupee she is able to mark down. If, in the end, the price ever comes out as a strange number she always rounds down to the nearest 10 or 50 rupees, even if the price has already been marked down a lot, and the shopkeepers just grumble and agree.

On the way back she got into a fight with the auto driver (again!). She always works out the price of a ride before we get in the auto, but still, when it comes time to pay, they try and charge more. I paid the driver the amount he had told us in the beginning, and while he was yelling for the extra ten rupees he was trying to charge us (aka, 20 cents) Kumari grabbed my hand and pulled me away. She looked very smug and never looked back while the man continued to yell and demand for us to come back.

We had lunch; Kumari made dal, pepper water, and rice. I’m not a big fan of pepper water, it is basically like tea made of peppercorns with some oil and a few other spices and herbs thrown in; there is no real substance to it. The dal was fantastic, though.

That is all for now,

Peace,
Robby

Moving and Stuff

2009-07-13T14:50:00.001+05:30

Hello Everyone,

Yesterday was the most tiring day I have had here yet. With waking up early and then the mountain climb and then moving, the activity never stopped. The movers helped with all the big things, but we carried everything else. We made dozens of trips by foot carrying large bundles of things wrapped and tied up in sheets. Going through all of their things you could tell that they used to have money. Kumari had piles and piles of high quality and finely made saris, but each was faded and obviously worn. Once we got everything to the new house that needed to be there we started unpacking. By this time it was pretty late, and I wasn’t that much help unpacking because Kumari needed to know exactly where everything was going. She ended up doing it mostly herself while Xavier looked on grimly, unable to help.

That night everyone migrated back to the old house and we ate dinner. It was a quiet night, and being the last day of the weekend I was a little sad that I wasn’t able to spend more of it with the kids. We all went to bed early; no one had rested at all that day. Kumari and Xavier, however, didn’t get any sleep. The medicine he is on has nausea as one of its side effects and the doctor prescribed another drug to counteract this nausea. Despite this second drug, Xavier could not sleep at all. He felt like he had diarrhea, needed to throw up, and that his bladder was about to explode with urine. Not once did he vomit, have a bowel movement, or urinate despite these feelings. When I woke up this morning, a tired looking Kumari was chasing a wet, naked, and screaming Prince around the house. After the weekend he refused to return to school. Xavier is the only one Prince will really listen to, but Xavier was unable to get the energy to be stern with Baboolu, and thus he stayed home. Xavier finally felt a little better and fell asleep around 9:30.

With everything settled down, Kumari and I sat and talked, something we haven’t really done in a few days. We talked a lot about Priya. Yesterday Priya and Vamil, the friend that went climbing with us, came to the house alone to eat. Priya’s grandmother was here too and got very angry with Priya, and Priya ended up making her cry. Kumari explained to me that Priya was a very free girl in comparison to most in India, and especially in a town like Tiru. Kumari asked if I had seen the girl next door. I admitted that I had not, and she explained that girls weren’t supposed to be out and about like Priya; they aren’t supposed to be seen. If a girl’s girlfriend come to visit, then the girl leaves the house and they talk on the porch for two or maybe three minutes, and then the girl must return inside. Her friends never enter the house, and she is never supposed to be visited by men. Priya has never been visited by a girl; the four or five friends of hers that I have met have all been boys. They always come inside, and they are always punching each other and having friendly fights. It is all innocent. Kumari went to a western school where it was okay to be friends with the opposite sex, and Priya spent her young childhood in Mumbai, a big city where the cultural rules are a little more relaxed. Kumari was always okay with Priya having friends that were boys, but now people in the town are talking about it and the family is worried that they won’t be able to find a good husband for her because no family will want their son to be associated with her. It is so different from America where guys and girls are free to mingle and be friendly. Priya, though, thinks the Indian rules are outdated and refuses to bide by them. In addition, Vamil, one of her closest friends, come from the lowest class. In her grandmother’s eyes, this added insult to injury, which is why they fought. Priya hopes some day to study in a university in Europe, where she will be able to do what she wants.

When Xavier woke up an hour later he had a fever and threw up. Kumari decided to take him back to the doctor to see what can be done, and I am left here with Prince and Durga, who also didn’t go to school. Hopefully I will hear from Kumari soon.

Peace,
Robby

Mountain Climb

2009-07-12T14:52:00.002+05:30

Hello Everyone,

We spent most of yesterday, surprise, surprise, waiting in vain for people to come help us move. It never happened, and we had our afternoon rest very late because no one wanted to sleep in case someone showed up. No one slept for long because when we finally did lie down the power went out and the heat was unbearable. I sat in Kumari’s room and we discussed the problems ahead, specifically how the next month and a half will work with the family living separately from the children. I think I have already explained this, but we only have the top floor of the new house because the bottom floor has refused to move. In order to keep the house we have to pay for the top floor until we get the bottom floor. The children, though, really need more room, so Kumari wanted to move out of this house to open up the other two rooms for the kids. The plan before was that Xavier would spend the night with the children here, but now he is too sick to travel back and forth between the old and new houses. Kumari, though, needs to get Prince ready for school, and needs to cook him a lunch in the morning because his school is the only one that doesn’t provide lunch. There are so many things to do, and Xavier is very limited in the amount he can help.

I took a bath, and afterwards when I went outside I found all the children sitting quietly and listening to Kumari. She was going through the rules with them, and telling what was good and bad about the week. Every week she does this, and for the rest of the day and half of the next day they will be very well behaved and then go back to their usual ways. After she finished, each child stood up and gave their complaints. The complaints were all very funny and usually was them tattling on each other. Kumari listened to each one very seriously, though a lot of the time she had to look away and laugh about how serious they were being about such petty problems. The children and I ate dinner, and then Kumari needed to tend to Xavier, so I went outside with the kids by myself. They started to talk about different Indian movies, and to my surprise and pleasure they turned the raised part of the front porch into a stage. The boys preformed first. I could not believe the way these kids had picked up song and dance routines from watching a movie. It was incredible. Plus, of course, it was hilarious watching a group of young boys sing and dance and act all macho, and then yell at each other when they messed up the moves. After the boys, a group of girls sang and danced, led by Maha. The moves were much more complicated, and Maha was like a pro; I could not take my eyes off her. Her dancing was perfect, from the point of her toes, to her twisting fingers, to her bouncing hips, and even her ever changing facial expressions. Then they did a group routine which was loud and fun. I’m hoping to get them to do it again so I can record it, it really was amazing.

Near the end of all this hustle and bustle Mukesh pointed out Sangeetha to me. She was sitting with her fingers curled strangely. She was wobbling her head and banging her fists spastically on the ground. I ran and got Kumari. Kumari had told me about this; Sangeetha has something wrong in her brain and she will go into fits pulling her ears and rapping her knuckles against her teeth or other things like that. Then she will go completely limp and be passed out for over an hour. When she wakes up she doesn’t remember a thing. She is being treated for it and since being on the treatment she hasn’t had any episodes, until now. She didn’t end up passing out, but she was really out of it for the rest of the night. Kumari made her lie in a special position, and she stayed that way twitching for the rest of the night.

This morning I woke up bright and early at five, ready to climb the mountain. Normally I wake up around seven, but I may have to change my sleeping schedule; the early morning here is beautiful and dare I say even a little chilly. One of Priya’s friends came, and he, Priya, Pown, Kartic, and I took two motor bikes to the ashram. The only main path up the mountain starts in the ashram, and since you have to leave your shoes at the door, the climb was made barefoot. It wasn’t too bad to start; the path was clean and made of large stones cut out of the mountain, so it didn’t hurt your feet if you chose your steps carefully. I also think my feet are finally starting to toughen up from always being barefoot. The path was pretty steep, probably as steep as climbing up a huge flight of stairs. On the way up we saw many people meditating on large rocks that jutted out like tiny cliffs. The views were amazing, and the early morning haze blocked all but a hint of the far off mountains. Tiru is even bigger than I realized, and from so high up it looked so lifeless and peaceful, neither of which I would normally use to describe the busy town. On the way up we saw several men carving intricate figurines out of stone. About an hour later we reached the end of the main path. We were maybe two thirds of the way up, and at the end of it was a mini ashram full of potted tropical plant and a small wood hut for meditation. We asked if we could go any further and we were pointed to a solid wall of stone with an arrow pointing up painted on it. We looked further up the wall, and there was another arrow, tiny in the distance, also pointing up. Before I knew it Kartic started climbing like a monkey up the rock. I’m talking real rock climbing. Priya said that I wasn’t allowed to go because Kumari would get mad at her if I did, but when Pown and Priya’s friend also started to climb, I had to go. The only word I have to describe those next twenty minutes is intense. Never have I been so exhausted. I was actually happy to be barefoot because my feet could grab at the tiny cracks and bumps in the smooth rock, and the sweat on my feet gave good traction even if there was nothing for them to hold on to. It got to the point where it was a little easier to climb, but we knew that if we went any farther we would never be able to make it down. We rested and came down the rock cliff in a not so graceful controlled fall. When we finally got back to Priya and the normal path, my legs were shaking uncontrollably from the climb.

We took a different path down so we could see the cave that a holy man spent over sixteen years of his life in. The cave was painted white and beautifully decorated with a small shrine inside. We prayed, put the red and white chalk on our foreheads, and left. The path we took down the mountain was a lot shorter, but also a lot steeper, than the one we took up the mountain. It ended randomly in a tiny neighborhood. The road was very narrow, and little channels on the sides were used for trash, drainage, and sewer. We trekked barefoot through town back to the ashram.

When we got home we came in on a huge commotion. Finally the movers had come. I was tired, sore, and still hadn’t had breakfast, but I helped lug everything onto the big cart nonetheless. Getting everything out of this house wasn’t a problem, but getting it onto the second floor of the new one was. The stairs were way to narrow, so we had to stand on the cart with the fridge and other items raised above our heads while people on the second floor terrace hoisted it over the terrace ledge. Finally, after being up for over six hours, I had breakfast. And now, I think I will sleep.

Peace, Robby

A good view of Tiruvannamalai. The temple is huge!

The crew, looking adventury while taking a rest.

Another view of the temple while coming down the mountain.

Prithivi, Skin, Doctor's Office

2009-07-11T12:53:00.000+05:30

Hello Family and Friends,

So I know I always say this, but last night / this morning seriously were really quiet.

Yesterday Prithivi was brought back again. He is Prasad’s older brother. Their parents died a while back, and they were being taken care of by their grandmother and their uncle. I guess it became too much to look after them, because a month before I got here both Prithivi and Prasad were brought here. Prasad has adapted very well and has a lot of friends here; Prithivi, not so much. Prithivi has yet to spend more than two nights in a row here. He constantly runs away to his uncle or his grandmother. Every time it is the same story; they beg Kumari to take him back and promise that they have talked to him and that he understands that he needs to stay, and every time Kumari gives in. Finally, though, she said enough and enrolled another boy because she likes to keep the number at thirty, never even one more or less. When we woke up from our rest, though, there was Prithivi with his grandmother. Kumari is taking him in until we can decide what to do permanently, she refuses to have thirty one children at her current financial state. There is an orphanage in a nearby town that runs its own school. Because everything is all together, he will have less of a chance of running away, so Kumari is going to try and get him a spot there. I never have really interacted with Prithivi, but the thought of him has always made me kind of upset. Every time he runs away he is leaving his younger brother behind. In my mind, he has already lost his parents, why purposely try and loose your brother? Not only that, he takes things from his brother to help pay for his bus rides when he runs away several towns over to his grandmother.

Yesterday for the first time I got to know him. My first impression was that he was a very handsome boy and that he had perfect skin. Many of the children have scars and pimples from the heat, but Prithivi’s skin is flawless, even in comparison to the wealthy children I have seen in passing. He is also very, I don’t know how to put it, upright. He stands in a stretched sort of way, and always has perfect posture. He is very intelligent, and speaks with his eyes. He is twelve years old, but it is intimidating the way he comes off so perfect and almost better than everyone else. He was obviously intrigued by having a westerner here, and he spent a lot of yesterday evening with me. Conversation was difficult; he understands English but can’t speak it. Whenever I say something to one of the kids and they don’t understand, he quickly translates it to Tamil. But he has a hard time speaking to me. I’m trying to make this weekend interesting for him to try and see if by giving him attention he will be less likely to run away. I doubt he will leave this weekend, but come time for school Monday, we shall see.

Speaking of boils and pimples, Santhosh (there are two, both the same age, so all I can say is that he is the one with the skinnier face) came home with a huge swollen eye. He has had large boils on his head, which Kumari says occur when sweat glands get blocked up in the heat and then become infected. It is a vicious cycle, because they get huge, and if one pops, anywhere the fluid ends up another boil while form. He got several near the outside edge of his eye a couple days ago, and now they have gotten so big they have made it impossible for him to open his left eye. It is obviously painful, and a distant relative was going to pick him up to take him to a doctor. This elusive family member never showed up, so we will have to take him on Monday since it is too crowded on the weekend. So many of the kids have little skin problems. Kasthuri has had patches of skin that look like large grit sandpaper ever since she has been here. The doctor said it was from a lack of a certain vitamin, and she has been on supplements for over a year now with no result. I am a natural skin picker, if there is anything on my skin I feel the need to pop it or scratch it or pick at it. I have had to work really hard not to mess with my skin because who knows what I could end up with.

Last night we took Xavier to have his PPD (tuberculosis) test read. The doctor was hoping it would be the final conformation that Xavier did indeed have tuberculosis, but the raised area wasn’t as big as he hoped. He had us wait for a half an hour so he could then read it again, which I didn’t think would make a difference since the test is done over several days in the first place. It didn’t make a difference, but the doctor decided to go ahead with the tuberculosis treatment and have us come back in five days. While waiting for that half an hour, a group of men came in yelling and screaming for a doctor. They put a young man, probably in his mid to late twenties, on the floor. I could tell immediately from his color and by how stiff he was that the man was dead, and it took the doctor only a few seconds to come to the same conclusion. The man had died from an electric shock. Kumari was very upset from seeing him, especially since he was so young. The ride back was quiet.

This morning Kumari left for the market and I stayed home. Once again we are spending our day waiting to see if people will come to help us move. I am getting a little frustrated with the fact that we are wasting so much of our time waiting, but Kumari says that this is how it is here. People say they will do things and never follow through, or follow through much later. Hopefully, though, today will be different.

Have a good weekend,
Peace,
Robby

Results

2009-07-10T14:28:00.000+05:30

Hello Everyone,

Once again it was a fairly quiet day. Yesterday evening when I got up Xavier was home from getting the MRI of his back. He was really worn out from all the traveling and his back hurt more than ever after having to lay so still in the MRI machine. He said they had to take it several times because he kept involuntarily twitching from the pain of having to keep so straight.

The children slowly rolled in from school and quickly got to work on their homework. Baboolu had homework too, for the first time. The teachers have been giving him a hard time because he doesn’t know anything and is way behind, and he feels no shame in admitting that they are correct. For homework he had to write the names of different animals in English, ten times each. I have never heard someone whine so much in my life. He kept throwing his arms in the air claiming his hand hurt too much from writing and that he needed a rest. All of the kids thought it was hilarious watching him do work, because usually he is the one harassing them while they try to finish their homework.

Pown and I took the motor bike to get water and print letters out. I have become a real pro at getting water. I get these big ten liter jugs of Bisleri water, and have to hand in my old jug. I read somewhere that this water isn’t always safe; the jugs are sent back to the company to be cleaned and refilled, and most of them are pretty beat up. Their caps are then covered with a piece of shrunk plastic wrap, and it isn’t hard to create counterfeit seals. Still, though, this is the only kind of water that I can buy in such large quantities, and even this much only lasts me two days. Buying hundreds of bottles would cost a lot more, and so far I have had good luck with this water. When we went to print out the letters there was some problem with the printer because I needed it on the WIDE letterhead. I wanted to know when it would be fixed. Should we come back later that night, or tomorrow? I felt really bad for Pown because he was trying so hard to translate and had no idea what I was asking. Finally he threw his hands in the air, stated that he did not understand, and we quietly left.

Later in the night we were all outside playing when the power went off. It was cloudy and everything was pitch black. The kids went crazy yelling and running around banging into one another. For some reason I have always liked power outages at night; it’s a change in the routine and there is something cozy and fun about only being able to see what lies in the small circle illuminated by your flashlight. Because of the power outage we weren’t able to serve dinner until later and everyone was starving. The lights came back in a little over an hour though.

After dinner the children presented Priya with tiny gifts for her birthday. The gift ranged from little handmade cards, to broken necklaces they found outside and then fixed with tape and string. Priya graciously accepted them all, and showed her presents off fondly to everyone. Subala gave her the funniest collection of strange broken knickknacks I have ever seen: a broen makeup mirror, a used container of foundation that only had a bit of powder left in it, several beads wrapped up in a piece of paper, and a colorful scrap of fabric. All of this was lovingly wrapped up between two sheets of ripped notebook paper that she decorated with highlighter and pencil.

Priya also received several figurines of different Hindu gods. The Xavier family is devoutly Christian, however they still respect and practice Hinduism as well. God, is God, Kumari says, and it doesn’t matter what figure or face you have given it, it is still God. All that matters, she believes, is that you pray and that your prayers go somewhere. I wish others could be so open to different beliefs. I spent the rest of the night having the children and Xavier tell me different stories behind the Hindu gods. Each child would yell out extra details to fill out any parts of the story Xavier was missing. When they finished, Kumari would then retell the story to me in English. The tales were fascinating, and I wish I had known the history and stories of the gods before I had gone on the mountain walk, I probably would have understood the paintings and figurines in the temples and shrines a lot better. I think my favorite god, of the ones I have learned so far, is Lord Ganesha. He both creates and destroys obstacles and problems; I like that he has a good and bad side.

Today most of the children had a holiday. Kumari and Xavier took the MRI scan to the doctor to have it read. I wanted to go too, but that would have left James alone with the kids, and he can be very rough and strict with them, so I stayed behind. I was with the kids until lunchtime when Kumari and Xavier returned. It seems that he has tuberculosis. It is in his bone, not his chest or lungs, so it is not contagious according to the doctor. Xavier feels pretty firmly that it is not tuberculosis, despite the tests saying otherwise. Still, the doctor ordered him medicine for five days, and after five days he will return for more tests. If it is looking better, he will need to continue on the medication for nine to ten months, and for one month he must do nothing but rest. If it doesn’t change after these five days, then they will have to open his back to remove fluid from the swollen area and run tests on that fluid. There is the possibility that he has tuberculosis plus some other infection on top of that, causing the swollen back. Time will tell.

The rest of the kids got home very early today; there was a bomb threat in one of the schools, so all the schools closed. Baboolu was probably the most excited about the unexpected break.

That is all for now,
Peace,
Robby

Mini Bios and Errands

2009-07-09T14:58:00.001+05:30

Hello All,

Yesterday consisted of, once again, waiting for people to help us move. Once again, they did not show up. For lunch we bought fish from a street peddler. We picked out the fish and the man stuck a stick into its mouth and violently thrust it around. Then he squeezed causing most of the insides to fall out of its mouth. Then he roughly rubbed it against a piece of wood in order to rip off the scales. It was, overall, a very violent process. With the fish in hand, Kumari and I set off to make fish curry. The curry itself was very good, but the fish was full of tiny bones, and it didn’t really seem worth all the trouble. After eating I blew my nose, which was running because of the heat, and a tiny fish bone that was in my throat shot up and entered my soft palate like an annoying little splinter. It took a lot to finally get that sucker out.

We took our rest early because we knew that when Babuloo got home from school he would not let us sleep at all. Babuloo came home (school is shorter for him since he is only 4 ½), and a couple hours later the rest of the children followed. Kumari and Xavier then left for the hospital to get another opinion about his back. Priya and I were in charge for the rest of the night. It was pretty quiet and relaxing; we just corrected homework and played with the ones who were finished. We ate dinner, and before I knew it, it was time for bed. I read for a couple hours, I wanted to be up when Xavier and Kumari returned from the doctor. They got home around 11:30, and I went out to meet them. They had the results of several blood tests, which revealed that something was indeed very wrong, but they needed other test to say just what. Kumari and I looked on the internet to see if we could get anymore information about the test results, but everything said the same thing, that more tests were required. The doctor did, however, order an immediate MRI, which Xavier went in for today. The town with the MRI machine is several hours away, and the scan is very expensive.

This morning I woke up and ate. We knew for sure that no one was coming to help move, so Kumari and I got other work done. We set out to write little mini biographies about each child, including their family background, history at WIDE, and interesting little things about them, such as their interests or personalities. I am going to take portraits of each of them to go with the biographies, and we are going to put them on the WIDE website (which currently is only offered in Dutch…). It was fun sharing stories about each child, and it was good for me to learn more about their backgrounds. I knew that we had several sets of siblings, but I wasn’t aware of just how many. Kumari has taken in siblings since she started, despite it being against the law. The law stated that you could only take in one child from a family, and that all siblings must be separated when being sent to orphanages, an idea that I found very sad. Already these children have been through so much, being separated from their brothers and sisters would only make it harder. Kumari, for the past several years, has ignored that rule. Just this year they changed it to be that you can take in two from the same family, but no more.

At one point I was writing about Mukesh, and I reminded Kumari of how worried he is about Xavier, and how caring he is. She told me that the other night she was outside, and when she came in a small group of four or five children were in a circle praying. She went back outside to let them be. When she came back in she woke up Mukesh and asked him about their prayers, and he said that they were praying for Sir (Xavier). Kumari says that all of the older children know exactly what is going on; they know if Xavier is sick, they know if there is a money or food problem, they are aware of any hardship WIDE is going through, and they always pray for the problems to be solved. It is incredible seeing such young children with such great faith. These children care so much for Kumari and Xavier. Kumari started to cry while she told me that when she and Xavier get old she doubts Priya or Prince, their own children, will take care of them. It will be Anitha, Durga, and Maha who will always be there. It is more than true, the children here love and worship Kumari and Xavier, treating them like the parents they don’t have.

Kumari and I then went into town to get some things, and we fought about whether today is Thursday of Friday. It is, in fact, Thursday, so Kumari won that argument. I get confused sleeping in the middle of the day, it makes one day seem like two. On the way back Kumari got into a huge fight with the auto driver over how much we owed. Everyone tacks an extra 5 rupees (about 10 cents) onto anything I’m involved in, and Kumari refuses to let me pay more than an Indian would, even if it isn’t that much more. The ride cost 30 Rs. (25 for the ride itself, an extra 5 because we had him wait for us), and he wanted to charge 35. I only had a 50 (aka, $1.25), which I gave to him. He didn’t want to give me any change, so Kumari reached into his pocket and pulled the change out for me. She started laughing very hard as we walked away from the stunned driver. All I can say is that I’m glad to have her on my side, she is vicious!

That is all for now,
I miss you all,
Peace,
Robby

A Quiet Day

2009-07-08T13:59:00.003+05:30

Hello Everyone,

Yesterday was definitely very quiet. I woke up a little later than normal because I fell asleep late due to the walk the night before. I was pretty sore, and my feet were achy. I got up and had puttu. My stomach graciously accepted this dry, bland meal, especially after the hell it was put through the night before.

I noticed that Baboolu (Prince) was still home when I woke up. Since I have been here he has not gone to school. He was born prematurely, and gets sick often; he will go to school for a week, and then will have to stay home for a month. So far this year, he has been at school two days. Personally, I think that he could have been at school for a while now; all he does here is run around and terrorize everyone, so he must be feeling okay. Anyway, Kumari finally put her foot down and said that he had to go to school. Baboolu whined and said that he could not walk because his foot was in a lot of pain. He refused to move, and finally Kumari gave in. When I woke up he was running around and chasing the dogs. Tomorrow, I told her, he needs to go no matter what he says. This morning I woke up to Baboolu lying on the floor shaking uncontrollably. He was having a fit about going to school, and Xavier said that maybe we should wait another day. Kumari said she refused to let him stay home another day, and started dressing him. Baboolu had such a fit, and even though it wasn’t funny Kumari and I couldn’t help but start laughing. Whenever he would start going off again, Kumari would look at me with a smirk and roll her eyes. He refused to feed himself, so Kumari he to force feed him breakfast. Finally, after an hour of calming him down and preparing him, Prince was off to school.

Yesterday morning a man came to help Kumari make sure that we had all the proper paperwork for the inspection. In order to be government certified an orphanage has to have been open for a certain number of years and follow certain guidelines. I was thankful to have the man here to check my work. He gave me a couple letters and more spread sheets that needed to be typed, and I diligently abided. After he left the power went off, and during the hottest part of the day we had no fans.

Someone had told Kumari that they would bring some people to help move all of the big items such as the dressers, the refrigerator, the desks, and other things to the new house. We sat around waiting for them to show up. I was a little aggravated that we couldn’t work on the computer because the power was off, and we also couldn’t go into town and get things we needed in case that men showed up to help us move. In the end, the afternoon was basically a waste; no one showed up.

When the kids got home from school I helped them with their homework. When they finished, I let some of them draw in my sketchbook. Santosh and Subala wanted to play a game with me and I agreed. Santosh kept cheating, but when I protested in English he replied in Tamil, and no progress was made. Subala kept setting me up to get points on purpose, despite me telling her not to. Finally, whenever she set me up, I ignored the move she wanted me to make and did something else, which let Santosh get the points. With all the points I was passing up and, along with the fact that he was cheating, Santosh won.

The older boys got home a little later, and Jana sat with me and we spoke in broken English. Suseela, the servant woman, sat with us and she asked me questions through Jana. It was really difficult, especially since I usually need a translator just to speak to Jana, let alone using him as a translator. In the end though, it was nice to talk to Suseela. I like her more and more, and feel bad that I misjudged her in the beginning. She really does care about that children, and she has made this job her life. She goes out of her way to help, and when James goes off to drink or do whatever else he does Suseela helps in the kitchen even though it isn’t her job. James keeps asking for more and more money, and I have not seen her ask for a thing. One funny thing about Suseela is how angry she gets if any of the girl children touch me. Swetha has even turned it into a game; she will look Suseela right in the eye, raise her eyebrows, and then rest her hand on me. When Suseela reacts she runs away, just to come back and do it again.

After dinner I enjoyed the cool night with Xavier and Kumari. We talked for a long time, and in the conversation she mentioned that someone’s mother had breast cancer. She had a lot of questions about cancer, and I answered them to the best of my ability. I talked a little about mammograms and checking for lumps, and she very solemnly asked if the lumps hurt. At first I thought she was trying to tell me that she had a lump, but after taking me to talk in private she revealed that she was afraid Xavier might have a tumor or cancer of some kind. We discussed the fact that he needs to see a western doctor. I personally don’t feel that it is a tumor, but who am I to say? Still, I feel terrible for Kumari, she has so many things to worry about and Xavier’s back is yet another thing to add to her mountain of troubles. Close to tears, she explained that she had no idea what she would do or how she would manage if she did not have Xavier.

Before going to bed she checked her email and there was some good news. We might a potential company sponsor from the Netherlands. They said they would send two representatives in two weeks. Kumari is very hopeful that they will come while I am still here so I can help explain everything, and take them to visit the land. I hope I am here as well, I think they may have an easier time communication with me and I would love to put in a good word for Kumari and WIDE.

That’s all for now,
Peace,
Robby

This is Swetha, she has some of the funniest facial expressions I have ever seen, and she follows me around like a puppy. She tries very hard to get my attention, and when I finally look at her she makes a starnge face, and then runs away. She is so much fun, and is a little troulble maker.

Full Moon Pilgrimage

2009-07-07T15:14:00.002+05:30

Hello All,

After a simple morning of helping Kumari yesterday, we took our afternoon rest. When I woke up Kumari rushed to me with the news that the full moon walk was that night, not the next day as we believed. On our calendar it showed the full moon being on the seventh, but apparently it started the night of the sixth and went until the seventh, so the walk was occurring that evening. I went onto the terrace to get a view of the main road in the distance; it was swarmed with people starting the pilgrimage.

Every full moon people come from across southern India to walk around the mountain that Tiruvannamalai is at the base of. They all walk to the front of the main temple, and from there their journey begins. It is believed that all of your thoughts and prayers that you make while circling the mountain will come true.

I immediately went to bathe, which is necessary before making the pilgrimage. Priya, Kartik, Pown, and Maha also got ready. Xavier could not make it out of bed, so Kumari needed to stay home with him. She made me promise to pray for him while making the journey. We all dressed in our best, and at 6:30 we finally left the house barefoot, as is tradition. We passed by the huge field down the road, which was being used as a makeshift bus station for all the people entering Tiru from states far and wide. We hadn’t even reached the road on which the actual trek occurred, but already we found ourselves stuck in a crowd. A very young girl came and started talking to me. She was pushing against my leg while pointing at things in the distance and speaking in broken English. I quickly realized that she was trying to steal from me, and stuffed my hands in my pocket discreetly. In the middle of her sentence she looked down, saw my now protected pockets, and without finishing her thought she disappeared.

We finally reached the front of the temple which was stuffed with people. It was beautifully decorated with flashing colored lights. People stopped in front of it to place their hands over their heads and show their respect. It took twenty hot and crammed minutes to work our way out of the crowd, and so our spiritual journey began. The roads we lined with little makeshift shops. People cooked prasad and handed it out for free, while others made more complicated dishes which you could buy. There were men carving figurines out of whatever they could get their hands on, and snake charmers dazzling the crowds with their bravery. Cows roamed the street, and herds of people surrounded them trying to place a hand on its sacred body and feed it holy leaves that were sold on every corner. Also lining the street were beggars, many of whom were deformed or missing limbs. They tried their hardest to make eye contact with people as they passed, and some of the limbless ones would roll around in the center of the road groaning and yelling; it was very disturbing and upsetting to pass by. As we left the main part of town it got a little quieter and a lot darker. I was terrified of loosing my group in the dimly lit crowd.

We had not eaten before we left, so about an hour into it we bought newspaper cones full of a cherry like fruit. Priya did not know its English name. The seller poured salt over the fruit before handing it to us; they love mixing sweet and salty here, a combination that I do not particularly enjoy. I washed my fruit in my water, and ate. I though the pit would be small and hard, like a cherry, but when I popped one in my mouth I found the flesh to be quite shallow, and the soft seed broke open in my mouth releasing an awful taste. I spit the pit out, but it left a strange coating in my mouth, which took an hour or so to finally leave. Next we stopped for fresh “sweet” coconut (which is cut from the tree still green and soft, not the brown ones you typically think of), which was being sold everywhere. You would pick out the large green fruit that you wanted and the person would chop off the top and stick a straw in it. It was not what I expected. It was a little salty, a little sweet, and very warm; overall I was very disappointed and a little grossed out. Everyone around me finished theirs quickly, so I choked the rest of it down, it was so full. Once you finished drinking you handed the empty shell to the man and he cut it open and scraped out the jelly like flesh. The flesh was just as bad; on top of having no flavor, the texture left much to be desired.

After our snack I started paying attention to those traveling around me. People of every age, position, and religion were making the journey. I saw Muslim men and women walking and praying next to Hindus. Christians stopped at crosses to pray, while Hindus prayed in front of shrines. The pilgrimage is all about faith, and I was amazed to see that it applied to all religions. Some men ran the whole thing in large panting groups. Certain holy men walked very slowly, heel toe heel toe. Other groups of religious men would chant or sing and play instruments. Others carried radios, some if which played spiritual music while others played strange Tamil renditions of early 90’s American pop. Even the crippled and sick made the journey. One boy limped past me; the whole top of his right foot was a gaping, oozing, puss filled sore.

Around 10:00, we decided to stop for dinner and a rest. We found a shack type place that was serving people and entered. We seated ourselves and waited to be served. There was a lot of whispering on the building, and Priya told me that they didn’t want to serve us because of me. Until this point people have always been nice towards me, and were usually curious. Some showed indifference, but never have I felt unwanted until this point. Pown went and pulled a server to our table to take our order. She grumbled and served us brown, awful smelling water. We waited for a while and watched others come in after as and get food right away. Pown went and talked to the head server again, and she reluctantly brought us food. I had ordered two parratas, and they were very small, certainly not big enough to make a full dinner, but I refused to order more despite Priya’s protests. While sitting and eating, the plastic chair I was sitting in literally crumbled beneath me, drawing even more unwanted attention. No one came to help us, so we brushed the chair until a pile and took another one from the table beside us. The place was very dirty, and almost immediately after eating I could feel my bowels protesting. The woman came to clear our water, which none of us drank, and spilled a whole cup on my lap. She didn’t say anything or even look at me after it happened, and I just sat there pretending not to be phased by the incident or how I was being treated. We were severely over charged, and I felt bad because I knew it was because of me, so I paid for dinner and left. The meal both emotionally and physically put a damper on the trek for me, despite trying my hardest to not let it get to me. But just to reiterate, this was only one incident, the rest of my time here I have been treated very well by everyone.

We continued the journey, and waves of immense pain spread through my lower bowels off and on for the rest of the time. Priya asked if I would like to use a public restroom that we passed, but the thought of paying to use a disgusting hole in the ground without toilet paper seemed worse than waiting until we got back home.

We stopped at one temple after eating. There were literally hundreds of Hindu temples and shrines along the way, but this particular temple was dedicated to Priya’s favorite god, so we entered. It was small and clean and beautiful. Sadly, I don’t remember the name of the god, he was not one that I have ever seen before and the name was not recognizable to me. We also stopped to have our fortunes told. Priya went first and then it was my turn. Priya told him my full name, which he repeated along with some words in Tamil. A colorful bird then popped out of this little box and pulled a tattered envelope out of a stack. The man pulled the card out of it and unfolded it. All the strangers around me gasped and started whispering to each other, I had no idea what the card meant but apparently it was very good. The man started talking in Tamil, and when I asked Priya what he was saying, but she shushed me. Afterwards she explained my fortune to me, and hers as well.

At eleven we finally came out of the unpopulated area and entered town again. A half an hour later we made it home. It was exactly a five hour journey, and my bare feet would not have been able to handle another step (my intestines could not have handled it either). After talking to Kumari about the trip, I fell into bed and slept the best I have slept since being here.

I was thinking earlier today about all the unbelievable experiences I have had that I never thought would happen, and taking a five hour barefoot pilgrimage around a sacred Indian mountain is certainly on that list.

Peace,
Robby

The mountain around which we orbited. This picture does not capture its full size, or the fact that all the land around it is completely flat. I took this picture as we approached the makeshift bus station, and sadly it is the only one from the whole journey. I was afraid of loosing my camera, plus it was very dark and I didn't want to draw attention with a flash.

Rickshaw Robber

2009-07-06T15:11:00.001+05:30

Hello Family and Friends,

Yesterday was cool and very cloudy, so we went over to the field to play again. It wasn’t quite as fun as last time; there were a lot of other people there, and they didn’t seem to enjoy having kids run through their games. Some of the younger children collected some of the more interesting pieces of trash and made these really beautiful shrines; I think these kids have a future in modern art. Others collected berries and leaves and mashed them up in these pieces of pots that they found. They created a whole kitchen, and boys gathered random bricks to set the perimeter of the “house.” It actually was a lot of fun, and quite interesting. Then I learned different games that only required a few rocks, and other games that required nothing at all. It really is amazing what they come up with to do when they have so little. It is quite different from home where every toy imaginable is available, and where we feel the need to have exactly the right equipment for every game we play. We ended up playing catch with balls made out of wrapped up scraps of fabric, but our outdoor playtime was cut short by rain.

We all came back home and eat lunch, and the children slept while I read and wrote and chatted with Kumari about little things. It is funny, I talk to her nonstop because she is one of two people here that have a full understanding of English, but our conversation still never slows down. I went down for a nap as well, but was abruptly woken up by loud, angry yelling. I quickly crawled out of my mosquito net and looked out my window, and on the front porch was a man I did not know yelling at Xavier. He pushed Xavier, and Xavier pushed back strongly. I threw on my lungi and ran outside. I got out just in time to see the strange man grab James’ shirt, breaking his beaded necklace. This pushed James over the edge, and he punched the man in the stomach several quick and hard times. The man was finally subdued. By this time all the children, and the priest who visits on Sundays, were standing outside the front door watching. A congregation of neighbors and those just passing by had also formed outside the gate. Kumari finally explained to me what had happened. Right now one of their neighbors is away, so during that time we are watching their autorickshaw, which Xavier has been using to practice his driving on the back roads. Kumari was out hanging clothes and saw this man sitting in the auto, and asked him what he was doing. He drunkenly responded that it was his. She figured that he must be confused in his drunken state, and called for Xavier and James to get him. When they approached the auto they saw wires hanging out of the dashboard; the man was trying to hotwire the auto and steal it. The man tried to run so they dragged him into our porch area, and somehow the heated discussion had turned physical.

Xavier took the motor bike to get the police, while we locked the gate so the man couldn’t get out. He was angry and obviously very distraught about being in this situation. Kumari was incredibly upset. We are in charge of the auto, and if it was stolen we would have had to pay for it. It would cost 70,000 Rs, which, to put it into context, would pay the rent on this house for two years. She was also upset because Xavier’s back is worse and more swollen than ever and now he would be late for his medicine. About fifteen minutes later, Xavier returned with an officer who took the man to the police station. Kumari then got Xavier’s medicine ready. A little more about Xavier’s back; it literally looks as if someone put two balloons in it and then has slowly inflated them over the past several months. When he returned from the doctor several days ago he brought a bag full of different expensive herbal mushes and tablets. Kumari then had to mix all the herbal concoctions and pills together into a terrible smelling mud, which Xavier must drink twice a day on an empty stomach. I am all for herbal medicines and supplements, but only to a point. Xavier has had this problem now for a year, and it is going to take something serious to fix it. Any faith I had in the mix he is taking now was gone when Kumari told me that everyday she must boil and cool water, and mix his medicine with that water before he drinks it. I asked if that was to make sure it was clean, and she said no, it was for some other purpose. I can’t for the life of me think of anything, other than killing bacteria, that changes in water when it is boiled and cooled. The doctor also says that Xavier needs to go for a ten day massage treatment in a town twelve hours away. Kumari doesn’t know what she will do those ten days, because I will be gone, and also doesn’t know how they will be able to pay for that long of a hospital stay. Thankfully she plans on getting another, more western, doctor’s opinion before Xavier spends all that time and money.

After taking his medicine, Xavier went to the police station alone. An hour later Kumari decided that she should have gone with him, and made her way to the station as well. Later, while making dinner, Kumari told me what happened in the station. When she got there they had Xavier in a room and were harassing him and asking for money and bribes. Kumari marched into the room and declared that they would no longer be speaking to Xavier, only to her. They asked her to write out a formal complaint against the man that tried to steal the auto, and she insisted on filling it out in English as a way to show that she is more educated than them. They returned the money Xavier had given them because they knew that this educated woman knew the law and could get them in a good deal of trouble for refusing to do their jobs without a bribe. They then tried to tell her to write a story about the man that was not fully true. Kumari ripped up her complaint and said that informing the police about misconduct is her civil duty, but lying is not. She took Xavier and left. I admire this woman so much; she might be the strongest person I have ever met.

The night was fairly quiet. James marched around like a hero and several times he told me the story of how he punched the man. I sat in the kitchen with Kumari, and we talked. It was uncomfortably hot because we had to close the windows so the burners wouldn’t go out, but I know Kumari likes the company. That night we chained the auto to our fence, and Xavier called the neighbor to say that we no longer could watch it. Kumari and Xavier can’t be held responsible if something happens to it.

Today was quiet, the children went to school and we cleaned the house and got some things ready to move to the new building. Priya had a fever and didn’t go to college, so I watched a movie in Tamil with her. It was terribly done, but the songs were great, and it was so horribly overacted that despite not understanding a word, I still knew what was happening.

Okay, that is all for now,
Peace,
Robby

The Temple

2009-07-05T13:34:00.003+05:30

Hello Everyone,

Yesterday evening was a lot of fun. After the market, lunch, and a nap, I get ready to visit the large temple for which Tiru is so famous. Priya, Pown, Durga, Ajith (not Ajith Kumar), and I went. Our journey started with a long walk down the main road waiting to be picked up by an autorickshaw. This took a little while, but I really enjoy walking along the streets here. I saw a herd of black wild pigs shifting through trash. I asked Priya if they ate them, and she gave me a shocked look, which I took as a no. We finally were picked up by an auto, but by that time it was a really short drive to the temple. We got out of the auto and waited about five minutes until there was finally an opening in traffic so we could cross the busy street. The little road we walked to the temple front was lined with people selling metal pots, plates, bowls, and other cooking ware. Everything was metal, and it looked like the street was lined in silver.

The closer we got to the temple, the more crowded it became. The front tower (of which there are four, one on each side) loomed overhead. I knew that the temple was tall, but saying tall does not do it justice. The tower’s height was not the only impressive thing about it; the entire massive structure was intricately engraved and decorated. I can’t even begin to imagine the work that went into making one of these, let alone four. We had to check our shoes at a stand outside the temple, and while waiting in line we were flooded by beggars. This was my first true encounter with the beggars here, before I had seen one or two at a time, but the temple was mobbed with them.

After removing and checking our shoes, we entered the tunnel through the tower, which led into the temple. The walls of the tunnel had very worn words and pictures delicately chiseled into it. In the middle of the tunnel we had to pass through a metal detector, which kind of ruined the vibe. When we emerged from the passageway we were greeted by an open court flooded with people of all ages. Large statues within stone buildings stood everywhere. The temple was also full of dogs, and monkeys. At first I was excited about the monkeys, and took a picture of a mother holding its baby. Then I saw how terrifying monkeys really are. They would run up to people and attack them until the person offered it something it liked. Good luck trying to carry a bag through the temple. A saw many games of tug-a-war between man and monkey, and not once did the human win. Whenever we passed a group of them, Priya would hide behind me. One monkey came and tried to molest me and I had to smack it away. I was too scared to be excited about the fact that I just touched a monkey. I don’t know why it was grabbing me, I had no food, only a bottle of water, and a camera zipped up in one of my pockets.

We entered one of the buildings inside the temple and followed a labyrinth of incense filled halls until we finally reached the back where an old holy man blessed us and then sprinkled a chalk like powder into our hands, which we used to mark our foreheads. We then used the rest of the chalk to fill in the engraved words on one of the pillars.

Upon leaving the building we weaved our way around lines of people formed in front of different statues. Everyone wanted to go and tell the statue their hopes and prayers. We went through yet another tower into the center of the temple. This was the most sacred part, and there was a two hour wait in line to see the main temple statue. We decided not to wait in line, and instead walked around other parts of it. We visited the huge reflecting pond, and saw the tall, narrow, golden tower in the center of the temple. For five rupees an elephant would place its trunk on you and bless you. We waited in line to see a giant statue of a bull. One by one we went up to the statue and whisper what we wanted to happen in our future into its ear. While we made our prayer, we had to cover the other ear so our prayer wouldn’t go straight through. By that point it was starting to get late, so we sat and ate the rice prasad, a holy food. It is tradition to eat it when you go to a temple or ashram.

We left the temple and picked up our shoes. It was now totally dark. We walked Ajith to his uncle’s shop where he is spending the rest of the weekend. It was a bakery, and it was now around eight and we still hadn’t had dinner, but we resisted filling up on sweets. After dropping Ajith off we roamed the streets for a little bit. The town looks so different with everything lit up. Since it was still early in the night, everyone was active and out and about, and I loved being a part of the cool evening’s hustle and bustle. I bought two lungis, the wrap-around skirt type thing that men here wear. Here children wear shorts, teenage boys wear pants, and then men wear lungis. Kumari said that to people here I look to be about twenty five (no kidding!!!) and that when she tells them that I am nineteen they are shocked. Because I look so old, it is more culturally acceptable for me to wear a lungi. The shop keeper tried to push these ridiculously gaudy satin and silk ones with bright patterns on me. I went for the plaid cotton ones, which everyone here actually wears, plus they look nicer. When I returned home with them, I think Kumari was grateful that I had gone more traditional, and we got a bucket to soak them since they were heavy and stiff with starch. This morning James taught me the proper wrapping technique, and I must say that in the heat it is much more comfortable than pants.

It’s the weekend, so now I’m going to go spend some more time with my kids!!! I hope you all have a good rest of your weekend.

Peace,
Robby

Devotees waiting in line to whisper their wishes into a statue's ear.

Yeah, it may look cute sitting there with its baby, but these big guys are vicious!

As we left the center part of the temple the lights were turned on, giving everything an unearthly glow.

Saturday Bazaar

2009-07-04T14:02:00.002+05:30

Hello all,

Yesterday evening was very quiet, the children all tried to get their homework done as quickly as possible in order to have the weekend free. We ate and got ready for bed. All the children were asleep and I was in my room writing and reading when the power went out. It was pretty late at night and with no windows and now no fan, the Xavier’s could not sleep and had to leave their oven of a room. They congregated outside and I went out with them. We sat and enjoyed the night for about an hour, until the power came back on.

This morning was hotter than it has been all week, and all the children found games to play that involved as little movement as possible. Around 10:30 Kumari was leaving for the market, and I asked to go with her. She agreed, under the condition that I lagged behind and explored on my own, because she is able to get most of the food as gifts, but if they see me with her they would make her pay under the impression that she now had a lot of money.

On the way to the market we passed a huge group of Muslims protesting and marching. Kumari wasn’t really able to explain what it was about. She did say, however, that almost all of her free food came from Muslims; they are very giving and care for her cause. Also, she explained, Christians and Muslims are basically the same, so in India they get along very well. I thought her opinion that Islam and Christianity were almost one in the same to be very interesting. It also made me think about how suspicious the white, Christian majority has been of Muslim men in the US, especially after 9/11.

When we finally got to the bazaar, my initial thought was, “I have made a huge mistake.” It was crowded, dirty, and loud. Autorickshaws and trucks pushed through the narrow alley that made up the market, while cows and even people were knocked and thrown out of the way. I laughed thinking how Kumari said that she came at this time because it was less busy, and I could not even imagine it being more crowded or harder to navigate. My thought was that I would go and take pictures by myself since I couldn’t stay with Kumari, but the idea of pulling out a camera and drawing even more attention to myself seemed daunting.

I quietly navigated the maze of people, animals, and vegetables while pretending not to notice the stares I was receiving. In the first ten or so minutes I was there it did clear out considerably, which meant I stood out even more. Shop tenders and shoppers alike yelled out little tidbits of English at me, most of which made no sense. “Good night!” one person yelled, “What is the weather?” another asked. I do have to give them credit, though; they have a better understanding of English then I do of Tamil. At first I was a little uncomfortable about all the attention I was receiving, but I knew no one would try anything with me and that they were simply curious. I decided to bring out my camera to try and discreetly take a few shots. The camera, however, ended up being a blessing. So many people approached me asking me to take their picture. I would then show them the picture, and a conversation in broken English and Tamil would ensue. I actual made a few friends, and after talking to one shop keeper and his brother for several minutes, he gave me a free mango. I think he was disappointed that I didn’t eat it right away (they eat them skin and all), but I was told not to eat anything fresh, unless it was peeled. So I stuck it in my pocket and saved it for later.

Being in the market was one of the several times where I have been really happy that I took this trip alone. If I was with someone else, I probably would have hung on to them, making and sharing observations and never leaving their side. Being alone has forced me to interact with people. Why not talk to the old woman about cows? Or tell my story to the man selling ginger? I have no one else to talk to. I also feel like being alone has made more approachable. No one is intimidated by a lone, young, westerner. If I was with a group, would the two brothers so boldly approach me and ask me to take their picture, or would random people passing by feel comfortable enough to shake my hand and ask for “my origin”? I don’t know how many people today welcomed me to India, and though I am here alone, it certainly doesn’t feel like it.

About an hour into the outing (the hottest, dirtiest, sweatiest hour of my life) Ajith Kumar found me in the crowd and became my little tour guide. This little firecracker knows everyone here it seems, and somehow he got his hands on two cups of tea, and every time I looked away he was chomping on a new piece of fruit that someone had given him. When it was time, he and I flagged down an autorickshaw, which slowly took the treacherous route up the bazaar street. We loaded it up and rode home sitting on top of this weeks food; potatoes aren’t the most comfortable thing to sit on, especially on the bumpy roads of India.

Once home I immediately bathed, the water that ran off me was a dark brown from all the dust and dirt I had encountered on the street.

Oh, and I almost forgot, it is the Fourth of July! I didn’t even remember today until I saw Ajith wearing red, white, and blue (not on purpose). It is strange being somewhere where no one knows the significance of today. Then again, I don’t know when their independence day is, only that is in (early/mid?) August…

Peace,
Enjoy the holiday,
Robby

Me and one of my new local friends, Santosh Kumar. He is the one who gave me a mango, and on passing him a second time I had Ajith take this picture of us.

This woman kept pointing at cows and talking to me in Tamil, despite me protesting that I only speak English. She was friendly, though, and let me take this picture of her.

The bazaar was only food, there are other streets for clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc.

Approaching the market street.

Stay away from hotel food

2009-07-03T15:07:00.003+05:30

Hello all,

What a quiet couple of days it has been. I have really fallen into a schedule here, and the days seem to be flying by. The weekend is tomorrow, where did this week go? The lifestyle here is so different; very calm, and relaxed. It is as if time is slowed down, nothing needs to be rushed; but at the same time the days seem to be sliding through my fingers.

Last night the children came home and finished their homework fairly early. Maha drew this beautiful picture, which Durga colored. I was very complimentary and soon I was flooded by a sea of drawings, all awaiting my stamp of approval. I asked Subala to draw one of me, and never before have I looked so crazed and on drugs. The sad thing is that she was being completely serious. A couple other kids drew pictures of me too, and whenever they went to draw my head they would take a bracelet and trace it to get a perfect circle. I didn’t think that my head was super round, but whenever they draw anyone else the head is a nicely shaped oval.

Right before dinner Priya got into a disagreement with her parents. Xavier’s back has been very swollen for a while now. At the beginning of the week it was so bad that he couldn’t even sleep. Wednesday night I gave him ibuprofen. I was reluctant to share medicine, especially if it were to have some side effect, but Xavier was in such pain, and ibuprofen isn’t that strong, so after talking to Kumari about it I gave him two. He was able to sleep that night, and wanted to move the heavy things out of this house and into the second floor of the new one (we have the second floor, but won’t get the first until September, which is a whole other story). It took a lot to explain to him that just because he felt better didn’t mean he was; it was just masking the pain so he should still be very careful. Anyway, Xavier needed to leave at four the next morning in order to get to a special doctor several towns over in time. Kumari wanted to go with him because she knows Xavier won’t ask any questions and will try to downplay what he is feeling, and that he will go along with whatever the doctor says. Since I don’t speak Tamil, it meant Priya would need to stay home to arrange the autorickshaws for the children. Priya, however, had mended a beautiful sari for her friend, and that morning she was supposed to give it to her so she could wear it on her birthday. She had made a promise. Priya sat in the corner with tears in her eyes because she is not allowed to speak up or argue with her parent’s choice. To make matters worse, she was then yelled at for not happily going along with her parents orders by James, the cook, of all people. I felt terrible and useless since I could not take care of getting the children to school by myself. A couple hours later, though, Xavier announced that he would like to see the doctor alone, and all the heartache was for nothing.

For dinner Kumari was going through all the different Indian dishes and came across one that I hadn’t tried yet. It was this tortilla type thing, but had layers and pieces that you could rip off and eat curry with. It is complicated to make, and apparently uses more oil than we had in the house, so we ordered it from the hotel up the road. I ate all of its oily goodness, and sopped up most of the two kinds of curries that it came with. When I was basically finished, Kumari commented that it isn’t good to eat from the hotel too often because the food isn’t always safe, and too much of it would disagree with the stomach. An hour later I had to use the bathroom, and again every hour on the hour for most of the night. I was miserable.

After dinner, between my trips to the restroom, I played that complicated number game in the boys’ room again (I wish they had a name for it so I can call it something other than “that number game”). They all take it so seriously, and I can’t help but thinking that we need cigars and glasses of whiskey to complete the picture.

I woke up super early this morning because the power had gone out and I was literally being steamed in my room. Also, I needed to use the bathroom. Waking up in India is the worst. Waking up in general is bad, be here it is terrible. When I wake up my pillow is soaked with sweat, which has also puddled into every indent in my body. My mouth is always incredibly dry and my lips sticky from dehydration, despite downing a bottle of water before going to bed. The humidity is its worse in the morning, and trying to convince yourself that moving is a good idea can be a battle that lasts over a half an hour. Speaking of sweat and dehydration, I drink five liters of water a day (no, I am not joking, it is kind of ridiculous). But looking at how much liquid leaves my system in any measurable way, you would think I hadn’t seen a cup of water in weeks. I must sweat literally four and a half liters of water. And by looking at my pillow in the morning, I guess I believe it.

We didn’t have electricity most of the morning, and a man came to the power lines outside our house and climbed right up the pole without a ladder or any rung type things. Without shoes, work gloves, or even a helmet, the man started fiddling with the wires. I gawked at how dangerous it was and made a comment about it. Kumari replied nonchalantly that last month the same man came here to work on the lines and got shocked and fell off the pole. But here he was today, still fearlessly doing his job.

Today I made the other poster for Kumari, and we talked and ate for a little bit. I tried napping outside where it is a little cooler, but tiny rain drops started falling, I thought they would feel refreshing, but instead the cold drops against my hot skin felt like needles, so I came back inside. After waking up so early, however, a nap is still in order.

Peace,
Robby

Prince and James patiently waiting and watching while some men fixed our rice grinder.

The crazy man that just shot up the electric pole without even thinking twice.

Separation

2009-07-02T15:08:00.002+05:30

Hello all,

Life has been pretty quiet, and dare I say relaxing, the past day or so. Doing paperwork with Kumari became very methodical yesterday, and then I took on the job of creating posters. We need a poster that indicates the daily routine and another that shows the weekly menu, both are required for inspection. I finished the one for the daily routine, and it looks pretty good. Doing it reminded me of being in elementary or middle school again, back when a “big project” consisted of making a colorful poster.

While I worked, Kumari and I discussed the differences in family life in the US and in India. In India the son stays in his father’s house, even after marriage. She asked if it was the same in the US, and I laughed and said that son and daughters were typically expected to move out and start a life of their own after college. I think that may be why each generation in America is so different, while in India tradition is still strong and change hard to come by. In America we move out at a fairly young age, and at that time create our own, and sometimes new, way of life. In India, since the grandparents, parents, and children all live together for their whole lives there is never the chance to go out and create a new lifestyle or a new set of rules. I’m not saying that one way is better than the other, but simply commenting on the outcome of these different ways of living.

In the evening Pown and I took the motor bike to print out and make copies of the letters, spreadsheets, lists, and forms I had typed up the past two days. The sky was very dark with heavy looking clouds, and the wind whipped up dirt, leaves, trash, and fabric that had been ripped from the clothes lines. I hadn’t bathed in a couple days, and the idea of being caught in the rain was welcoming. The promise the dark clouds had made, however, was never fulfilled other than a couple light sprinkles. I made the copies and we ran a couple other errands, and I realized how comfortable I have become with not understanding three quarters of what is going on around me.

When we finished the errands and come back home, the headmaster of the school was having tea with Kumari. It is still strange to me how much power this tiny Indian woman has over the school system here.

We ate dinner, and afterwards the older payment boys and Priya wanted to play some games. For the first time since being here I actually entered the payment boys’ room. Before I did, though, they locked the door and cleaned for me. When they finally opened it, a cloud of scented talc powder whooshed out of the room. They were trying to make it smell good, but the powder was choking and added a haze to the already dimly lit room. The room was even smaller than I realized. When they sleep they must literally be on top of each other. I saw no way that they could lay, even if it was on their sides, without pressing against one another. We played some complicated number game, and the night was actually a lot of fun, despite the odor of urine that kept wafting in from next door.

Today was more of the same; writing letters, coloring posters, and filling out paperwork occupied most of my morning. Prasad’s brother, Prithivi, ran away again. He has been here two weeks, and has run away five times to his grandmother, who lives several towns away. Kumari can’t be held responsible for him if he refuses to be helped. If something were to happen to him, it is her neck on the line. Because if this, and because there are plenty of other children that need help, Kumari dis-enrolled him, and an hour later there was another boy here. His mother died last year of a snake bite, and his father can no longer take care of him. His father now needs to leave for a job hauling mud in Kerala. It was one of the most heart wrenching things I have ever had to witness. The boy cried the whole time his father spoke with Kumari. Kumari asked me to take a picture of the boy and his father for the boy to have, because he will probably never see him again. When it came time for the father to leave, the boy started screaming and clawing at his dad, and his father could not even look at him. Kumari grabbed the child’s waist to hold him back, and the father marched blankly out of the gate while his boy howled and convulsed for him. I had to go to my room because it was too much for me to watch.

Prince and I tried to distract to boy with food and games, and he calmed down. Even the washer woman, who has never seemed to show any emotion, cuddled him and tried to distract him from all the thoughts and emotions that must have been running through his head.

When everyone else went to take their rest, I decided to enjoy a little alone time. I made some tea, cut up a couple mangos (the mangos here are the sweetest, most flavorful fruit I have encountered) and created a little reading nook in the wall outside. The breeze was amazing and clouds blocked much of the sun’s heat. I dissolved into a book, and for the first time it felt like a vacation. The children will be home soon, though, and any feeling of a vacation will quickly be over.

I love and miss you all,
Peace,
Robby

The father wiping the tears off of his son's face so I could take one last picture of them together.

The wedding

2009-07-01T15:54:00.005+05:30

Hello all,

Yesterday I got a good rest, and then helped the children finish their homework as quickly as possible. Then we all got dressed in our best for the wedding. When I emerged from my room after changing I was greeted with “super, sir!” from many of the kids, in respect to my clothes. The children all took a lot of time perfecting each other’s hair and making sure the scented talc was completely rubbed in. Then we waited. Right now Xavier is in charge of the neighbor’s autorickshaw, but he doesn’t have a license to drive it in this state. So the family of the bride was going to send a driver for us at 7:30. We waited, and waited. Finally the driver came around 8:45, the whole time the children were waiting they were itching in their nice clothes, and sitting as still as possible, so as not to get dirty.

It took only two autorickshaw trips, and one motor bike trip. For those who don’t know, an autorickshaw is meant to hold 3, maybe 4 comfortably. With children you can probably fit 5. We fit about 17 per trip. Children were stacked up four high on each other’s laps. Illegal, yes. Dangerous, a resounding yes. But in order to get everyone there before 10 it is what had to be done. I rode the motor bike with a neighborhood boy boy, who I didn’t know, and Xavier. We got there around quarter to ten, and things were just getting started. The marriage hall was hot, bloody hot, crowded, and noisy. The air was thick with the smell of jasmine and sweat. All the women were dressed in bright saris and had strings of flower buds looped in their hair. Everyone was staring at me; the bride was a half orphan and very poor, so many of people there were also not well off. Because of that, the last person they expected to see there was a westerner. Kumari had been in charge of the orphan-bride’s education, and as a thanks, all of Kumari’s children, family, and myself were invited.

A couple minutes after we entered, a band of strange instruments started playing and the bride and groom came in. They stood in the doorway and a large, strange looking camera took pictures of them. The flash on the camera didn’t “flash,” instead it stayed lit for several minutes. The bride looked very uncomfortable and shy in the blinding, unnatural light. She sparkled with jewels and gold, and was weighed down by pounds of flowers and layers upon layers of bright, draped silk. Not once did I see her smile. She was only 17, and was not ready to leave her guardian’s house for the house of her mother-in-law. The marriage was arranged, and stories about princesses bound into marriages while secretly there heart belonged to someone else came to mind, though I’m sure this was nothing like that. Later Priya and I went up and talked to the bride, there were tears in her eyes. The photographer came up and wanted to take a picture of us. Priya, the bride, and I arranged ourselves, and instinctively I smiled for the camera. I will be the only happy looking person in the picture (as if I won’t stand out enough already).

When a table cleared we sat down to eat. A banana leaf was placed in front of me, and I sprinkled it with my drinking water before the server could come and do it with water that came from who knows where. Slowly the leaf was filled with piles upon piles of strange sauces, curries, and vegetable mushes. I ate it greedily, by this time it was close to 10:45, and I hadn’t eaten since 2:00. The desserts were both served cool / room temperature, so I didn’t risk eating them and gave them to the children around me. While eating, a huge fight broke out literally right over top of me, between an old woman and a man probably in his middle to late thirties. It had something to do with the servant woman not clearing an old banana leaf. I don’t know. The man was leaning over top of me to get to the woman, fists were involved, and I was terrified and had no clue what was happening, but Priya was laughing so I knew that it couldn’t be that bad. They ended up carrying the man and woman outside, and everyone continued eating as if nothing had happened.

Several men came up to me, shook my hand, and introduced themselves. You both shake and eat with your right hand, so no matter how many times I went and washed my hand, it still had food on it because I kept meeting new people.

We left a little after midnight. The wedding celebration went all night, and in the morning the actual ceremony would occur, which I did not get the chance to see. Driving through Tiru at night is a must-have experience. The busy streets are quiet, only a few people are roaming about or cleaning up their outdoor stands. The air is cool and feels fresh. The heavy smells have cleared the area, leaving only a hint of curry and fried edibles. Cows rule the roads at night; they wander freely, untethered, and unwatched. I wonder how their owners find them in the morning.
Due to the late night, I slept in until 9:30, and quickly got to work on more paperwork and posters that need to be hung before inspection. Kumari has been very stressed, the people renting the bottom level of the new house were supposed to leave today, but they refuse to move until September, because in Hindu tradition, apparently it is only lucky to move in certain months. We don’t know yet if we will be allowed to stay here until then, and if we can’t, there is nowhere to go in the area. Because of that, Kumari and Xavier have their hands full, so I’m trying to take over all the little things that need to be done.

I miss you all,

Peace,
Robby

Waiting to be served

The bride and groom enter the hall

Waiting for the bride and groom to enter the hall (the pictures didn't load in order...)

The sun setting on Tiru while we waited for our driver

Paperwork mostly...

2009-06-30T14:33:00.009+05:30

Hello all,

The past night and morning have been uneventful. Last night Kumari and Xavier had some things to do at the new house, so I was alone with the kids for most of the night. I did fine by myself, and Priya was in the house doing homework if I needed anything, so I wasn't to worried. For most of the time the kids were doing their homework. Whenever they finished something they would bring it up to me for me to check and sign. Several of the younger ones had to recite a song in Tamil without looking at their books. They could have been singing gibberish, but it sounded fine to me, so I signed that they had memorized the song. That is what a lot of their work is like, memorization. Memorization and repetition. Several of them had to write the number 1 through 100 five times. Others had to write the same sentences in English ten times. A couple had to memorize a song in English. This is all well and good, but many have no idea what the sentences they are writing mean. Subala was singing me a song in English, and when she got stuck on a line I pointed to it in her book; she just shrugged and shook her head no. It reminds me of how I am learning some of their rhymes in Tamil, but if I saw it written in Tamil I would have no clue, and if someone asked me what it meant I would have no clue.

When Kumari came back she brought freshly boiled peanuts with her, they were very good, but I think I ate too many of them. She then taught me to make dosais, which reminded me of pancakes. I explained pancakes to her, but she got really confused about the whole maple syrup part. I explained it was sap from a tree, and she just laughed and said "you come from a very different world, my friend." We've had two other moments like that. One was when I asked her if the leaves fell off the trees, and then tried to explain autumn to her. The other was when I was talking about snow. She had a lot of questions about snow, like do we need umbrella's? She said that she had seen pictures of the red autumn leaves and the white snow, but she thought they were just photo-shopped to look pretty. Then again, I have been pretty ignorant about Indian life as well. I took a while for Kumari to explain to me that the vegetable in the curry that I had eaten at the neighbors was actually the inside of the banana tree. Or the time that they explained to me that having squirrels and lizards in the house was normal. One time Priya said to me, "I think India is too different for you, no?" I replied that yes, India is very different, but I am enjoying it a lot. "Okay," Priya responded, "you come back every year then." I just smiled and shrugged.

After dinner I went to the bathroom, but the light was burned out. First a little bit about the bathroom, it is incredibly narrow, but is a fair length. The half the toilet is on is raised a step, and the other half has a spicket that goes into a very large bucket. The toilet does not flush, instead you fill a pitcher from the bucket and dump it into the toilet. The extra water in the toilet drains out, and you hope that your business goes with it. I mention this because it took me a while to get used to. You use the same pitcher to pour water on yourself when washing. Anyway, the light was burned out, so I told Kumari. She didn't have any light bulbs, so we decided to take one from a less important light. That bulb didn't work in the bathroom either, so we went to put it back in the back room, and it didn't work their anymore. So we started switching around light bulbs all over the place, and pretty soon none of the lights were working except one. Then, out of nowhere, the fan in the Xavier family's room stopped working. Kumari threw her hands in the air and declared that she was sleeping outside because it was going to be so hot without a fan, and because she was done with this out of wack house. We rearranged the lights one by one, until finally they all worked (which was strange because we were sure at least one of them was dead) and then the fan burst into life. I don't know what kind of ridiculous wiring they have in this house, but it had us juggling light bulbs for over a half an hour.

I woke up around seven this morning, and had breakfast with the kids and saw them off to school. Kumari and I talked about what would be needed to get an FCRA number. This is a number that you need to get funding from organizations outside of India. There is a lot of paper work and you need to show that your foundation has spent over 6 lac (600,000 rupees) in the past three years. While Kumari uses more than that, a lot of the food, clothes, supplies, etc., come as gifts or through agreements; she doesn't have enough receipts to add up to the 6 lac. She did, however, buy the piece of land (with a lot of outside help) for 5 lac. I discussed moving that land out of her name, and into the WIDE trust (it is being used for the orphanage in the first place) so all she would need to come up with receipt-wise would be 1 lac. She already has an application pending and we should find out while I'm here, so if it doesn't go through I will help her rearrange things and send in a new application. For the most of today I played secretary. There will probably be an inspection soon, and there are a lot of forms that needed to be filled out, and information that needed to be typed, including the history of each child. I took the typing jobs, and created spread sheets which include all the children's information, and typed up the daily schedules and meals, which are supposed to be posted on the walls.

While we did this Xavier went to the school to speak to one of the teachers. Friday Naveen came home with a lot of cuts and bruises. He had been beaten by one of the teachers. Apparently two younger children at the school told their teacher that they were afraid of Naveen, so the teacher pulled Naveen out of his class and beat him excessively. Physical punishment is accepted in Indian school, but Kumari and Xavier will not stand for it. Xavier basically tore the teacher, and the head master, apart and threatened to pull his kids out of the school. Schools depend on high numbers, so many schools in the area want Kumari and Xavier to enroll thier children in their school. This gives Kumari a lot of pull in the school system here. Xavier told the teacher that if he heard of any other instances like this one, he would send "the Mistress" (Kumari). This is a huge threat because a lot of the teachers are afraid of Kumari and she could easily get him fired. They do not hit the children in the orphanage, and they won't let the teachers hit the children in the schools, even if it is acceptable.

Kumari would have been upset if anyone came home bruised and bleeding, but Naveen is a special case. His sister Maha, one of the oldest and certainly the most responsible here, watched as her father and some of his friends beat their mother to death with steel rods and logs for the fire, and then hung her from the ceiling fan. Maha was four. They are terrified that Naveen will turn out like his father, and all last year they let him do what he wanted until he settled down. If he said he wanted his grandfather, they would immediately call him and off Naveen would go. This year, much to Kumari's relief, he decided that school and being with his sister is most important, and he hasn't left the home since. Kumari is afraid that because of this incident he will no longer want to attend school, and any possibility of him making something with his life and not going down his father's path will be lost. There more I hear about each child's background, the more I wonder how Kumari can handle it all, and the more I respect her for what she does.

I am going to rest now, I'm going to have a very late night because I am going to a wedding, and then to the wedding celebration early tomorrow morning. I am so excited!

Peace,
Robby

This is Naveen. The girl peaking into the picture is Sandhiya.

One of the two dogs exhausted in the heat outside the front door.

On the front porch.

Prince, Kumari's little trouble making son. He is the biggest cheater, and when I took the kids to the field Kumari lied to him and said she wanted to take him somewhere. He stayed home, thus letting the other kids play and have fun without being bothered by him.

Ashrams

2009-06-29T14:36:00.003+05:30

Hello all,

Last night was fairly quiet. I took a pretty long afternoon nap with kids because we were all so tired from running around in the hot sun. The children slowly awoke, and we got some non-active games going. We played a lot of this memory game and also this number game, which I enjoy a lot. All the little ones that don't know how to play huddle behind me and whisper the pieces that I have to each other, and whenever I make a play they pat me on the back and say "ah, very good sir, very good," even though they don't really know what is happening. The game isn't too competitive, though, and usually all the players show eachother their hands and we help them figure out the best move. Naveen's grandfather came and visited him, and brought him a little bag of these seeds to snack on. Naveen shared them with everyone, and offered some to me. Normally I only take food from Kumari, but I had had these seeds before, and figured it was okay. They tasted like gasoline, and I barely ate one and it made me feel bad. One of the older boys tried one and got Kumari because they weren't good. Kumari threw them away (I felt bad for Naveen), but it was too late for me. Luckily I didn't vomit or anything. Apparently Naveen, who is five or six, has a habit of making other kids sick; one time he found colorful tablets on his way home from school, and gave them to the other children saying it was chocolate. He honestly thought it was candy, but it was medicine and several of the kids got sick.

Later I went to the kitchen and Kumari tought me how to make chappatis, which are kind of like tortillas, from scratch. She also showed me how to make palia. I am starting to figure out all of the foods, and hopefully when I come home I will know how to make it all too. Kumari has promised that first I can watch and take notes as she makes a dish, and the next time she makes the same thing I will help. I have also graduated to the full Indian spice level. At first Kumari used no chili in my food, and I told her that I was surprised the food was not spicy at all. When I found out she was holding back on me, I told her no, I wanted the full Indian flavor. So little by little she has added more chili to my food, and every time she is terrified it will be too hot. At this time I am even eating James' cooking, which sometimes Kumari complains of being too hot.

I had a hard time falling asleep last night, probably because I took such a long and late nap. I woke up a little later than normal, 9 am, and Kumari insisted that I must stay home and rest because I didn't feel well the other evening. I, however, had wanted to see the ashrams today, and convinced her that I was fine. I ate puttu for breakfast, which is my favorite breakfast, and got ready to go out. We called an autoricksaw, and we were off. This was my first time in an autorickshaw, and after the motor bike ride, it seemed very calm. I think I am starting to get used to the hectic roads here, which kind of scares me. The roads are crowded with people, bicycles, motor bikes, autorickshaws, buses, trucks, and large bulls pulling wagons. Technically you are supposed to drive on the left side of the road, but even that simple rule is ignored. Thus traffic jams frequently occur when two cars come right at each other, and then both refuse to back up or turn. Soon motor bikes are flying around them and autorickshaws are pressed against their tails so that they can't turn or backup even if they wanted to. In short, it is a mess.

The first ashram we visited was the Ramanasramam. This is the oldest and most famous ashram in Tiru. Ashrams are places for meditation built where holy men either reached nirvana, were enlightened, or lived their life. This ashram attracts a lot of rich westerners during the winter months when the weather is actually tolerable here. It is huge and right at the base of the mountain. It was like entering a rainforest, everything was green and the screeches of peacocks were omnipresent. There were flowers decorating everything, and it was incredibly clean, even by western standards. When we entered we were asked to remove our shoes, and we wandered barefoot past the tables where the poor could recieve free food. We looked through the library, and visited the main temple. All of the gods here are so strange, beautiful, and bright. We then entered the main meditation hall, which was made of carved white stone, and was very open and bright. This was the first time since being in India that I have seen other white people, and honestly it was a little angering. They came to India and spent all day in the ashram, many even all night since there are well kept huts you can rent. They came and stayed in a false India, the real India stopped the moment you passed through the gates. Even the beggars seemed beautiful when put in this setting. For that reason I felt a deep dislike for it, and I got angry with myself when I started to fantasize about retiring here in my old age.

We left and visited a newer ashram, the name of which I have now forgotten. Kumari had actually met the guru it was built for before he died. Outside there were men dressed in saffron clothes, the clothes of spiritual men. Kumari said that they are actually beggars, but when western people see them they are tricked into thinking that they are men dedicated to serving the gods, and then give them money. We had to take off our shoes here too, and at this point the sand / dirt was very hot. We went inside the silent temple, and walked around. There were pictures of holy men and gurus lining the walls. There was a picture of Jesus, and I contemplated the significance of his image being hung in a Hindu temple. Then I noticed that the guru next to him was "smoking the ganja" and realized that Jesus being up there probably wasn't that big of a deal. We then went to the meditation hall, and there were singers there, so Kumari and I sat for a bit. This hall was not a pretty as the other one, and kind of reminded me of a warehouse, but the singing was very beautiful.

We came home and I bathed and had samba for lunch. Then Xavier and I took the motor bike to get more water. He stopped and talked to a man, and I was proud of myself for being able to understand several of the words, and thus figure out what they were talking about. It was just about the weather, but still I was excited.

It is time to rest, and the power will go out soon, but I will write again tomorrow.

Peace,
Robby

This is the large tree outside of the first ashram, it is hundred of years old and very sacred. I didn't take that many pictures inside the ashrams, even though Kumari said I could, because it felt improper.

Inside my first autorickshaw. How touristy of me to take this picture!!! Still I was excited...

Terrace Games and Cricket

2009-06-28T14:15:00.003+05:30

Hello Family and Friends,

Last night was a lot of fun. After resting, I woke up around 4:30 and had my afternoon tea. The children were still sleeping so it was very quiet and peaceful, so I sat outside and watched the wild dogs roam around. As the children slowly woke up, Kumari and I went through some of the games sent to them from the Netherlands which they didn't understand because the directions were in Dutch. I knew some of the games, and I taught them to the kids that were awake. There were also two pairs of funny little stilts, so when everyone was awake we went to the roof and had relay races. We played boys against girls, but who knows who won because at the end everyone was just running around and yelling and laughing.

The children then organized a game similar to duck duck goose (though much more fun) on their own, and got Kumari to play too. I was taking pictures, but then Kumari said that if she was playing then I had to play too. There was a complicated song in Tamil that went with it, so whenever I was "it" Ajith would stand up and yell the words for me. It was fun, but I was always ducking under the clothes-lines which everyone else, including the adults, could run right under. At one point Kartic and I were both running in opposite directions, and he was going to beat me, so when we crossed paths I picked him up and ran with him, which all the kids thought was hilarious. Finally we played "fire on the mountain," and by that time it was getting dark. We came down from the terrace and helped Xavier load an autorickshaw with things for the new house down the street.

The children were tired and playing quietly, so I sat with Priya and an older boy named Jana. (It is pronounced like Jenna. His full name is Janathon, and when he wrote it I said, "Ohh, Jonathon," but he said "no, not Jonathon" very firmly). Jana had a lot of questions about me and Priya helped translate. Priya and I then discussed college and family life and compared them in the US and India. Priya mentioned that she used to take Nicky and Sandra to different places in Tiru, and offered to take me to the waterfall on Sunday (today). When she asked Kumari, though, Kumari seemed very hesitant so I jumped in and said it wasn't necessary. I think she likes having me here on the weekends because I take over the kids, which lets her do work around the house.

I had dosais for dinner. I eat at the same time the children eat, but the Xavier family and James don't eat until 9:30, when the kids have all gone to sleep and there is no more work to be done. Though I was a little worn out, and usually sleep when the kids do, I asked to sit with Xavier's while they had their dinner. It was a really fun time and I feel like I am getting close to the family. It was also fun because I love any chance I can get to interact with James, who has a strange personality, speaks a little English, and Kumari claims is "a little off." I tried pickled mango, which was quite salty and spicy. Xavier asked about "the rule of Obama" and Priya lamented over Michael Jackson's death. Kumari and I then made plans for the coming week. She didn't realize that I was coming to India for the sole purpose of staying with the kids, she thought this was just one stop in my travels, so she has now made it her job to make sure I get the full India experience for the next month I am here. She mentioned an ashram that we will visit. This ashram attracts a lot of old western people who just want peace and to "sit" (meditate). They made fun of these westerners for a little bit, and then Kumari said that we should visit at noon, because that is when I can see the most westerners sitting. I replied that it didn't matter when we go, because I see plenty of westerners sitting at home.

The next morning I was woke to a very angery Kumari. She was yelling in Tamil, and all the kids were very quite. Apparently Kumari went outside and found some of the girls washing the clothes and using a lot of water. She was angry for two reasons. First of all, the water pump ended up running for an hour (it takes 15 minutes to fill the tank) so now the electric bill will be very high (there isn't a water bill). Second of all, there is a hired woman here who is supposed to clean the kids and wash the clothes, and she is not doing her job. This washer woman is very strange; she has large, protruding teeth, and is constantly chewing her tongue and staring at me with her big yellowing eyes. I have asked Kumari what her name is, and Kumari always says that her name is not important. She doesn't know any English, though one time she did come up to me randomly and recited the ABC's. I nodded and smiled awkwardly, and then she walked away. Kumari is angry that she pays her (though not very much) but still the other girls end up doing her job while she sits or sleeps.

After pongal for breakfast, I decided that I wanted to take the kids outside the house, so Priya and I took them to a field down the road. It is a field of dirt, rocks, glass, bones, coconut husks, and other random tid-bits. The boys brought a cricket bat and first I watched, but then was batting and even bowling (pitching). Those that know my baseball background probably won't believe this, but I was actually pretty good. Some men and teenagers came and watched us for a little bit, and then approached me and asked me to play with them. I excitedly asked asked Priya, and she said it was okay if I went and played with them. My kids didn't teach me the rules and these locals didn't really speak English so the first several minutes was composed of them pointing at things and saying yes or no. After a little bit I figured it out, and did really well. My team won by a landslide, and the local men were very nice and shook my hands and showed off the little English that they knew. This was my first time really interacting with people outside of the home without Kumari's guidance and I did really well, and I think I made a couple friends too. Some of my boys came and watched and cheered me on from the side.

We came back and I was dead tired, but for the first time Kumari let me into the kitchen to help her make fish curry, Tamil style, so I took her up on the offer. I took vigerous notes, and seeing how eager I am, Kumari now seems pretty excited about showing me how to make all the local dishes.

I'm pretty exhausted, and my bed looks very inviting, so I am going to take my afternoon rest now, everyone else has been asleep for an hour.

I'll write again tomorrow.

Peace,
Robby

Dinesh playing duck-duck-goose, Tamil style. (That red fabric is dropped instead of saying "goose")

The children sitting in a circle on the terrace playing. You can see the mountain (or as we say in Tamil, "maleh") in the background. Just about everywhere in Tiru there is a good view of the mountain.

Weekend Fun

2009-06-27T13:55:00.005+05:30

Hello all,
Last night was fairly similar to the night before it, I played games with the children and (finally!) I am getting the names. Anitha showed me how to write my name in Tamil, and I proudly wrote it in the front of my sketch book. When Maha saw it, however, she burst out laughing. Apparently the way we pronounce Robby can't really be translated to Tamil. They spent probably a half an hour pondering my name and writing it probably twenty different ways. After each try they would look back up at me and ask me to say my name again, and each time they would say Robby???!!! with a sort of shocked and confused look and then scratch out whatever they had just written. The girls finally came to a consensus about the spelling, but who knows what it actually says. They then asked for my last name, and I just said "no, no, no, no, first name is enough!"

Right before dinner Xavier started yelling at the children and it was a little scary because I had never seen him like that before; he has always been very good with the kids. I asked Kumari what was going on, and she said that someone had called about all the noise. Apparently this happens fairly often, and there have been threats of kicking Wide out of the neighborhood due to noise. Already people around the house we are moving to this coming week have complained about what the noise will be like. The people in the area make points saying that the other orphanages in Tiru are quiet, but Kumari counters with the fact that this is the only orphanage here that takes in young children and that is why it gets loud. Either way, Kumari can't wait to have a house on the land we visited yesterday because they will own it, so it won't matter if people complain. Once the kids quieted down Xavier spoke to them softly, and was soon back to his normal self.

This morning marked the beginning of my first weekend here. First I ate breakfast and was greeted with a chorus of "good morning sir." Most of the children call me sir, despight me insisting on Robby; saying sir, however, is custom and Robby is too hard to say. Kumari got her mother's medicine together and sat with me while I ate. Kumari's mom is beautiful and very old. The one vision that always comes to my mind when I think of her is from my first day here. She was sitting outside and her leather-like feet were literally covered with black flies. It was so strangely beautiful. I have never seen her walk, but every time I look she is laying down in a different room. Whenever she sees me she smiles, nods, and presses her palms together, and I do the same in return. She got very sick several months ago and is now on a lot of medicine; all the children fight to be the one to give it to her. Kumari told me that sometimes her mother misses her mouth when she takes her pills, and the children like to see who can find them. Her mother, however, always insists that she swallowed them, even when they are visibly on the floor around her.

Kumari went to the market and I stayed with the children. I tought them to spell their names in English. Most know the letters, and were able to get their names fairly well, but letters like n/h and i/j seem to confuse them. Some of the younger ones came to me with one of the other's names written down and insisted it was their own. I'm pretty sure they were just copying from the person nearest them that knew what they were doing. After practicing their names for a little while they all demanded I put a check on their papers to prove to others that they had done it correctly.

Santhosh came up to me and asked me to play snakes and ladders. At first through his accent all I heard was snakes, and I almost panicked. Several of the children are here because their fathers were bit by snakes, so now I am terrified of running into one. When he pulled the game out, though, I realized my mistake and several of us played. I feel no shame in admitting that I came in last, it is a game of chance after all. Priya then tought me a new game with coins and numbers. It involved a lot of thinking and Priya and I played with some of the older kids. Priya won.

A boy that used to come here but now goes to a university came and brought the kids candy bars. My instincts from home were to make a little speach about not wanting to find the trash everywhere, but I held back. There are no trash cans here. When I asked Kumari where the trash can was on my first day, she looked very confused, then Prince skipped up to me, took my tissue, and threw it over the side of the porch. That is how it is done. When we are playing on the porch at night sometimes the wind comes from that direction, and the heavy stench of garbage comes with it.

The kids seemed pretty calm, so I decided to bathe. It is my first time washing since being here. They do not have a shower, instead there is a big bucket and a pitcher. The same bucket and pitcher that we use to rinse the toilet after we use it (since it does not flush). I bathed and shaved. I kind of enjoyed using the pitcher and how heavy the water felt coming down all at once. I was warned back home not to bathe naked, and thank goodness I didn't. While rinsing my hair some of the children come up to the strangely low, glass-less, and shutter-less window and waved to me. The children, and some of the adults, don't wash with water. Instead they rub scented talc powder all over themselves and into their skin. After washing, Gold (his name in Tamil means gold, and I have been told to call him gold) and I took to motor bike to get more drinking water. This was my first time buying something here, and was fairly uneventful; I motioned to my empty tank, the man said fourty, and I handed him the cash.

We ate lunch, and now everyone is resting, so I thought I would give an update.
I hope all is well back home!

Peace,
Robby

Just a handful of the kids; they love cameras and looking at pictures of themselves, and were all fighting to be in this one.

Kumari peeling ginger. The room she is in is where all the children sleep on the floor. I am in my room taking the picture. The hallway leads to the kitchen and to the room that the boys who pay rent stay in. To the right of the hallway is the door to the Xavier family's room, and the bathroom comes off of their room. It is one level, and the ceilings are tall, though the doorways are short (I have hit my head many times). On the terrace we hang all of the clothes.

2009-06-26T14:45:00.007+05:30

Hello all,

Since I last spoke to all of you a fair amount has happened. First, from 2 to 4 we all rested, which is common here. The power is turned off from 4 to 6 by the government as a way to save money, and without the fans it is way too hot to nap. The weather, though, isn't too bad. It is very breezy, and Kumari says that throughout the next couple is weeks the breeze will turn into all out gusts. Still, it is nice and makes it seem a little cooler.

When we woke up, the children soon started rolling in. They take auto-rickshaws to school, which is a considerable expense, however it is much too far to walk. The children come in in groups of 6 or 7 as different auto-rickshaws drop them off at the end of our narrow dirt road. Kumari and I got out the colored paper that I had brought with me, and who knew that children could get so excited over neons? We colored for over an hour, and when each child was finished they brought their pictures to me and we talked about them in a broken mixture of English and Tamil. When they would come up to get different colors they would point to the colors and I would name them in English, and some of the younger ones who only speak Tamil were able to pick the names of the colors up pretty quickly. With the older ones that speak a little English, I quickly learned that coffee means brown, and rose means pink. After coloring I worked on the kids names, and am starting to pick them up pretty well. When Ajith Kumar, the most outgoing of the boys, started playing hand games with me, I was soon flocked by the kids, all wanting to play and all wanting to be the one to teach me a new rhyme. It is funny that most of their rhymes are in Dutch, because the two other volunteers that had been here were from the Netherlands. A little more about Ajith; he is almost like a cartoon character with all of his dances and facial expressions. He is so well liked in town, that Kumari takes him to the market with her and he goes off on his own and comes back with bags and bags of food that merchants have given to him for free. If he doesn't go one week, all of the merchants ask where he is.

As it got darker Subala, Sangeetha, and Kasthuri tried to teach me Tamil. So far I have picked up the words for mountain, sun, moon, okay, no, yes, sit down, come, and go. Subala put a little gold plastic ring on my pinky finger, and it wouldn't go past the first knuckle. Throughout the night she kept coming up and checking to make sure that I had not taken it off. For dinner I had puri, and then the younger children went to bed. I was writing in my journal, and when the older children saw me writing with my left hand they thought I was pulling a prank, and insisted that I try and write with my right hand, because they did not believe that I couldn't. The six older boys that pay rent and have their own room were very interested in learning more about me and in showing off their English. They all wanted to arm wrestle me, and thank goodness I won, though the seventeen year old seemed pretty close. Then Prince wanted a turn and I let him win and he started dancing and laughing at the older boys, it was pretty funny.

The night got pretty cool, and I went on the terrace and watched the lightning in the distance. It rained a little during the night, and it was very comfortable sleeping weather.

For breakfast this morning I had puttu and semia. Then we went and visited the land that Kumari bought on a loan, and which a foundation in the Netherlands is going to build a large home for the kids, in the Dutch style. Getting to the land required a motor bike ride. I road on the back of Xavier's bike, and Prince sat in front of him. There were no helmets and nothing to hold on to. I had seen in passing that people riding on the back of a scooter do not hold on to the person in front, so instead I gripped the bottom of the seat the best I could. It was a ten minute ride, and when I wasn't worried about being hurled off, I was thinking about how dirty gasoline causes a lot of bikes in India to blow up. If I thought riding in a car in India was terrifying, riding a scooter is even more so. My leg came just inches from speeding buses and auto-rickshaws. I did, however, get to see more of Tiru, which was nice. It is such a lively and colorful place. All the steriotypical images that come to mind when thinking about India could be seen on this ride; I saw a vendor fighting two monkeys off of his fruit, I saw a naked toddler playing in a puddle, I saw holy men meditating in the lotus position, and I saw women carrying food in baskets on their heads. One thing, though, that you can't see in all of India is the famous temple of Tiru. It is incredibly tall and pristine and old. Just the outside was awe inspiring. I could have pointed my camera in any direction in Tiru and I would have gotten a good shot; it's too bad my hands were glued to the bottom of my seat.

As we neared the land, which is on the outside of Tiru, I got to see more of the rural farming areas, with lots of mud and palm frond huts, goats, cows, rice patties, and other kinds of fields. The farther from town we got, the bumpier and rougher the roads got. Luckily Xavier was nice enough to try and avoid the worst parts. When we got to the land I could tell that Kumari was very proud of it. She was glowing showing me where it started and began. Later she would show me the deeds to the land, which had her picture stapled to it. The land is nice and flat, and being an acre, there is plenty of room for her to have a garden and even a playground. It is surrounded on two sides by government land, which can be used for animals, or for the children to play. The neighbors are peanut and okra (which they call lady fingers) farmers, and they gave us sacks of raw peanuts, which are very strange to eat. While pealing off the dirt covered husks, I couldn't help but think of the fact that many farmers use human manure in their fields. However, the peanuts were gifts and it would have been rude to not eat them, so I kept popping them in my mouth with my dirty fingers.

On the way back, I rode on the back of Priya's friend's bike. He is well off, and had a very nice bike. I don't know if it was because he was showing off, or if it was just typical young man behavior, but he drove much faster than Xavier. He talked on his cell phone for a bit, his ring tone was classical Indian music, which I thought was a funny combination of the young and the old. An old woman stopped us and invited us inside for 'fresh sweet coconut from the tree' but I graciously declined because I was thirsty and out of water. I immediately regretted it though, because I probably won't ever get the chance again.

Back at home Kumari declared, "good, now you have seen the land. It is your land too now, because you are now part of the family." That basically sums up the way she has treated me so far.

The farmer by his well (which was very deep, and pretty dangerous looking)

My first full day

2009-06-25T11:58:00.005+05:30

Hello all,

The rest of yesterday was a lot of information all at once. First Kumari and I went over finances and discussed how the home has been run so far. It is tough because she can't get government funding since all of her children do not have certificates. When a child's father dies and the mother can't take care of her children she is supposed to get a certificate for her children declaring them half orphans. Most of the mothers are illiterate and don't understand the process, so many do not get the certificates. Kumari is now only taking children with certificates in the hope that one day they will all have them and she can get government funding. For example, she has one opening since she had to send a child away that had symptoms of leprosy, and yesterday afternoon a man came with the news that the father of a young boy, Dayanithimaran, just died due to a snake bite. Kumari, however, won't take him until his mother gets the certificate.

Kumari and I visited the new home we will be moving into next week. It is very nice, but also more expensive. She has been in the same place for six years, and the law says that when you rent a home for seven years you own it, so she is being kicked out by the person she is renting from. Finding a new place was hard because landlords are afraid the children will hurt their property. The rent she will be paying is a couple thousand rupees higher a month than it should be since it will be used as an orphanage. The new house will have a room for an office, so Kumari and I are going to start organizing the finances and creating files for each child out of the heap of paperwork she keeps in a box for her new office.

Walking through the streets to the new house gave me some the chance to see a little more of Tiru. The mountain is even more beautiful than I imagined, and no picture does it true justice. I saw several large monkeys, about the size of a child, just eating on people's rooftops. There are lizards that look like albino geckos everywhere, and skinks which they call snake lizards due to their scales. They say there are a lot of poisonous snakes, but I have yet to see any. There are a lot of street dogs too, and though I would never touch one, they seem friendly enough and basically ignore you as you pass them. In the kitchen there is a little squirrel type animal's nest with babies in it. This is the second time it has had babies, and Kumari took them down to show the children and they loved it. Each house is colorful, with saris hanging out to dry. Kumari stopped to speak to a couple women, and I got a lot of stares and a lot of smile. The people here are beautiful and seem friendly. Also, I have now realized that I am, without a doubt, the only westerner here, and probably the only one the people of Tiru have seen in some time.

I had a lot of time with Prince, who's English vocabulary consists of light (since his shoes light up, which he is very proud of), water, cards, some of the colors, and bike. He and I played a card game. I had no idea what the game was, and in the end I had no cards, so I'm pretty sure I lost. It was funny, though, arguing with him while he took my cards.

I have picked up a couple Tamil words, and food names. Kumari is teaching me how to cook and make tea the Indian way, which I am enjoying.

Last night I finally met the kids. They were a little timid at first, but after Swetta approached me to look over and sign her homework I was soon flooded with them. Anitha and Maha are the two older girls, and they knew English fairly well and helped me interact with some of the younger ones. I have to admit, I am having the hardest time with names, but I am hoping that after a couple days I will pick it up. They know even less English than I was led to believe, but I am making it work pretty well. They are all very well behaved and helpful.

There were two sad moments with the children. One was when a little boy learned that no one was going to pick him up for his sister's wedding which was today. The other was when Maha told Kumari through her tears that the children of Mercy Home were making fun of her for coming from the poor orphanage.

A little about Mercy Home, it is a well off orphanage in Tiru with many sponsors, and it has a large building with a room for each child and a playground. The children there, however, are made to do work while they are there. They are all failing school because they are given no time to do their school work. Thankfully Kumari is of the mindset that education is the only way her kids can advance, and many of the Wide children are at the top of their classes with the help of Kumari and Priya's tutoring.

This morning I had puttu for breakfast, and sat and pealed ginger and drank tea with Kumari. We talked about sponsors and she spoke with a reserved anger about a man named Patima. Years ago he ran a scam were he gathered some children for a day and invited westerners to see his "orphanage." They began giving him regular donations, and when ever they arranged for a visit, he gathered children for his fake organization. One, however, visited unexpectedly, and found his huge home and many cars, and no children. Everything was taken away from him by the police. Now he is doing it again, and is getting a lot of sponsors while having no organization. A year ago he told Kumari he would cover all of Wide's expenses under one agreement, that she would say that it was his orphanage and that she worked for him. She refused because she has taken care of some of these children for six years now and she has put her life into this. Ever since he has spread lies about Wide to try and dissuade potential volunteers and sponsors. Kumari is strong though, and ended the discussion saying "let the dog bark at the mountain, the mountain will remained unmoved and it is the dog's voice that will hurt. I will remain unmoved."

Peace,
Robby

I made it

2009-06-24T13:25:00.004+05:30

I am in Tiru, but first a little about my travels.

BWI to JFK went without a hitch, if you ignore all the electrical problems and the very bumpy ride. JFK to Dubai was long (close to thirteen hours) but the plane and the food were very good. I got stopped at Dubai security, and was yelled at by several security guards in Arabic, but they let me go when they realized that I had no idea what was happening. I was proud of myself for how calm I was able to stay.

Dubai was a little disappointing, I was in the airport for seven hours, and it was like being in a mall in the US, with everything in English and Arabic. I slept there for a couple hours, and wandered around for the rest of the time.

I was one of two westerners traveling to Chennai, the other was from France and spoke Hindi, so she doesn't really count. The airport in Chennai was more like a warehouse, and was frankly a little scary and hard to navigate. I asked this one family about the immigration papers. They didn't speak English and laughed at my fruitless efforts. They stopped me to go through my bags, I was the only person they did this to, I wonder why (please note the sarcasm). Leaving the airport there was this small fence with hundreds of people yelling and stretching their arms out. Amongst that crowd of people I needed to find Kumari. Luckily she found me first (it probably was not that hard) and pulled me towards her and her daughter, Priya.

They had hired a driver, and we got in. Driving in India is also scary. There are no lanes, and seem to be no speed limits. People use their horns heavily, and every horn sounds different. I tried to put my seatbelt on, and quickly learned that there was nothing to click it into. The drive took us through Chennai, and from looking at this 'city' I quickly learned just how under developed India really is. We stopped to get drinks, and I got a lot of stares.

Kumari, her 19 year old daughter Priya, her husband Xavier, and 4 1/2 year old son Prince are all very nice and welcoming. We got to Tiru a little after 1 am last night, and I slept until noon, which they understood after my 35 hour travel with little sleep. The home is even worse off than I realized. While driving up to it Kumari pointed out what looked like a parking lot and explained that it is where the children play; that is when they are not burning bodies in the building next to it because the pollution is too bad. When I enter Wide Childrens Home, I had to carefully navigate the floor which was littered with thirty six children sleeping on the floor. They set a small room aside for me, and I felt bad when I saw that all of Kumari's family was sleeping in a small room the same size as mine. The house is very open, made of cement, and is colorful. The street it is on is very narrow and crowded.

The children had already gone to school when I had gotten up, but I am very excited to see them when they come home a little after four. I am going to go and eat now. Kumari just hired a chef named James, who is apparently a little off in the head. In all, the home is very welcoming, and the people very kind, loving, and curious. I will post pictures when I get some.

Peace,
Robby

Less than a week

2009-06-18T06:00:00.003+05:30

Hey everyone, in less than a week I'm going to be in India and I have mixed emotions, but it is mostly excitement! I'm going from BWI to JFK, JFK to Dubai, and then Dubai to Chennai, India. Kumari Xavier, the woman in charge of the orphanage, will pick me up and we will drive to Tiruvannamalai, a small temple town in south-eastern India.

At the home I will be working with the children on their homework and their English, along with just having some fun with them. While they are at school I will work with Kumari to find sponsors and get grants, along with other administrative duties.

I can't believe that only a little over a month ago I contacted non-profit organizations in India to see what kind of response I would get, and now I'm seriously getting ready to leave. It is a little scary going by myself, but I think it is going to be quite the adventure and I'm ready to make a difference.